If only the music were as flawless as the cover art.
Here's little curio from the former Yugoslavia—a record sleeve from Serbian pop-rock artist Boris Bizetić with a Marilyn Monroe cover motif. We've seen her image rather poorly used on album covers, but this one is nice, we think, if almost certainly unlicensed. And the music? Hah hah. We dare you.
Colleen Brennan headlines history's worst mafia flick.
These two promos were made for the Japanese premiere of Mafia Girls, aka Love, Lust, and Violence, a grindhouse production that starred porn actress Colleen Brennan working under the name Sara Bloom and remaining fully garbed until the last three minutes. How do we describe this one? Plotwise, a general and member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff calls on a badass ex-soldier to take on the Chicago mafia, a motley crew that spends most hours of the day either watching live porno or getting blowjobs in a massage parlor. The movie is visually ambitious yet totally inept, which is a difficult combo to achieve, but director Norbert Meisel, a cast of b-grade co-stars, and several disinterested porno queens botch matters to such a degree that a comedic classic is the result. Imagine sweat, sideburns, semi-erect dicks, and pear-shaped bodies mixed with bad technical execution from acting to Z, and you'll have an idea what to expect. We cannot recommend this, but it provided some killer laughs. Mafia Girls premiered today in 1975, and its censored Japanese release occurred some years later.
, Mafia Girls
, Gangster Girls
, Love Lust and Violence
, Sharon Kelly
, Colleen Brennan
, Sara Bloom
, Norbert Meisel
, poster art
, movie review
You're always in the last place you look.
The war, a grenade, a head wound, and a case of amnesia bring a vet to Los Angeles in search of his identity. The only clue he has is the name of a presumed associate, not a nice guy, which makes the hero fearful, because who associates with not-nice guys but other not-nice guys? The main problem with Somewhere in the Night isn't that the amnesiac soon learns, as even a casual viewer would suspect from the beginning, that he and the not-nice associate are one and the same. The problem is that the script never provides for another possibility. This makes for minimal suspense, a sin compounded by dialogue that crosses the line from hard boiled into ridiculous—like in this exchange:
Friend: “Something smells bad, believe me. It's in the air—like an earthquake. Don't stand too close. Don't get hurt.”
Heroine: “I'm the girl with the cauliflower heart.”
Friend: "You think. You're as tough as a love song. You've got your face turned up and your eyes closed, waiting to be kissed.”
This is a little out there even by the standards of 1940s melodramas. Classics like Casablanca and Gilda didn't get too hip with the lingo, and that's a big reason why those movies remain scintillating today. Somewhere in the Night wears its age poorly. Blame not only its overly slangy dialogue, but the lame plot, wooden performances from the supporting cast, and an uninspiring John Hodiak in the lead. But the poster is an absolute killer.
That's fine, mister—I want the other one anyway. Before the school got bombed she was my sex ed teacher.
This cover depicting a grown man and a pre-teen boy browsing a pair of working girls is kind of creepy, we know, but it's also well executed. Originally titled A Convoy Through the Dream and published in 1948, Torment appeared in this Popular Library edition in 1953. Author Scott Graham Williamson tries for Hemingway with a story set in various sites around the Mediterranean during World War II, including Gibraltar, Algeria, and particularly Palermo, Sicily. Basically, a radio officer on a warship and his wife try to maintain their love and fidelity in a time of chaos and separation. This comes complete with that familiar war novel plot device—one last incredibly dangerous mission before the hero can go back home. The cover art is uncredited.
They say it's healthier but we have our doubts.
Did the dogs-eat-humans headline from last week's National Star Chronicle strike you as unusual? It wasn't. Tabloids and dogs have a long relationship, as this issue of National Mirror published today in 1969 proves by dragging another group of blameless pooches into the messy dealings of human beings. While we're on the subject, let's not forget that humans-eat-dogs headlines also made occasional appearances, such as here. More National Mirror to come later.
Doubting Thomas is a very bad idea.
We mentioned Larri Thomas when we wrote briefly about The Silencers a few days ago. We thought the image used on the promo pamphlet was great femme fatale material, so we brought back a version of it today. Thomas, born Lida Larrimore Thomas, typically appeared in films as a dancer, leading to the roles being uncredited. Still, she worked steadily through the 1950s and 1960s. This photo is from 1966.
I know what the damn island is called! Lemme go! After I kill him we'll change the name!
Novels set in South Florida and the Keys are basically a sub-genre of popular literature today, but Theodore Pratt was one of the earlier writers to continually set his work there, using the area for thirty-five novels. Mercy Island involves a group—local captain, youthful crewman, hard-headed sportsman, and beautiful wife—who are stranded on a deserted island when their fishing boat runs aground. But the island isn't empty. It's occupied by a man with a criminal past who has been hiding out there to dodge the law. As tensions rise and food runs short it becomes less clear who is the real danger to the group. Originally written in 1941, the book was immediately made into a hit movie starring Ray Middleton, Gloria Dickson, and Otto Kruger. This Dell paperback appeared in 1954 with uncredited cover art.
Nakagawa demonstrates the benefits of one-on-one teaching.
Above, a promo poster for Danjo Seiji-gaku: Kojin jugyo, aka Man & Woman Sexology: Private Lessons. Haven't seen this one, but reviews exist online, if you can read Japanese or are inclined to use Google translate. Basically, it's about an impotent man who rescues a woman from an assault in a park, and her subsequent attempts to sexually rejuvenate him. Starring Rie Nakagawa, Danjo Seiji-gaku: Kojin jugyo premiered today in 1974.
Ali invades Japan and helps invent MMA.
When Muhammad Ali died last week we remembered we had some rarities laying around, but it took a few days to find them. These are the items we were searching for—posters from Ali's June 1976 match at Tokyo's Nippon Budokan arena with Japanese wrestler Antonio Inoki. In what would now be called a mixed martial arts bout, Ali and Inoki fought to a draw, however this was not a freeform battle, but rather a tightly regulated exhibition match. Nevertheless, Ali's leg was so damaged from Inoki's repeated kicks that an infection set in and for a brief time the medical discussion turned to amputation. Today the Budokan match is considered by Ali fans an embarrassment in the boxer's storied career, but it was also an important precursor to MMA, a case study in how boxing and MMA are incompatible sports, and yet another example of Ali's trailblazing nature. He was the king and he will be missed.
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1914—Rasputin Survives Assassination Attempt
Former prostitute Jina Guseva attempts to assassinate Grigori Rasputin in his home town of Pokrovskoye, Siberia by stabbing him in the abdomen. According to reports, Guseva screamed "I have killed the Antichrist!" But Rasputin survived until being famously poisoned, shot, bludgeoned, and drowned in an icy river two years later.
1967—Jayne Mansfield Dies in Car Accident
American actress and sex symbol Jayne Mansfield dies in an automobile accident in Biloxi, Mississippi, when the car in which she is riding slams underneath the rear of a semi. Rumors that Mansfield were decapitated are technically untrue. In reality, her death certificate states that she suffered an avulsion of the cranium and brain, meaning she lost
only the top of her head.
1958—Workers Assemble First Corvette
Workers at a Chevrolet plant in Flint, Michigan, assemble the first Corvette, a two-seater sports car that would become an American icon. The first completed production car rolls off the assembly line two days later, one of just 300 Corvettes made that year.
1950—U.S. Decides To Fight in Korea
After years of border tensions on the partitioned Korean peninsula, U.S. President Harry Truman orders U.S. air and sea forces to help the South Korean regime repel an invasion by the North. Soon the U.S. is embroiled in a war that lasts until 1953 and results in a million combat dead and at least two million civilian deaths, with no measurable gains for either side.
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