Mondo Bizarro Jul 24 2017
INMATE 666
Satanist loses appeal in triple murder case.

We know you've probably been wondering how our old friend Caius Veiovis has been doing since landing in supermax for three 2011 murder-dismemberments. We finally have an update for you. His appeal for a new trial was denied last week by the Massachusetts Supreme Court. In seeking a do-over, Veiovis's lawyers claimed that the trial judge abused his discretion in admitting evidence and that this had the effect of prejudicing the jury. Which is interesting, because the jury probably assumed Veiovis vivisected nuns. When they learned he only cut a teenager's back open with a razor and kissed his girlfriend while licking the blood, it probably improved his standing in their eyes. The jury also learned that Veiovis possessed anatomical manuals detailing surgical and amputation procedures. In the end the appeals panel voted 3-2 against a new trial.

You're probably curious as to why the vote was so close. It's not because two of the panel were visited by an avatar of Satan who threatened an eternity of red hot branding irons in their eye sockets if they didn't vote for retrial, but because the case against Veiovis was circumstantial. There were no witnesses that testified to his involvement, no incriminating statements from Veiovis himself, and there was no forensic evidence linking him to the scenes. So unless Veiovis is simply so scary nobody will cross him (possible), and that same avatar of Satan windexed his DNA from the crime scenes (not likely), it indeed looks at least somewhat possible prejudice may have had a hand in his conviction. Which must have been a real shocker for him, because when he got those horns implanted and that 666 tattooed on his forehead he couldn't possibly have been expected to anticipate any negative effects. Back then, he probably thought it was a good look for Saturday nights at the goth club.

So Veiovis is back in supermax serving his full sentence of life, but with a narrow appeal decision the case could actually be taken up by the federal courts. Veoivis's lawyer believes the misconduct in the trial sets a precedent allowing anything creepy about a defendant to be admitted as evidence, even if it has nothing to do with the case. We'd argue that drinking blood from a sixteen-year-old's back lacerations and studying dismemberment are relevant to a murder-dismemberment case, but his lawyer does have a point. A guy like Veiovis is almost guaranteed to have incriminating items around his place. If it hadn't been medical books, it might have been a copy of American Psycho or a bunch of Electric Hellfire Club albums. A slippery slope indeed. Though Veiovis lost this round, at least he's learning not to make himself look worse than he already does. When he was convicted of the 2011 murders he screamed to the jury: “I'll see you all in hell! Remember that! Every fucking one of you! I'll see you all in hell!” This time he let the bailiffs lead him quietly away. 

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Mondo Bizarro Sep 15 2011
ME SO HORNY
Booking photo of man with facial adornments goes viral, defense attorney resorts to prayer.
We’ve always posted mugshots on Pulp Intl., but due to the nature of the site we prefer those of the celebrity variety. But Caius Veiovis, who you see above, qualifies by virtue of the fact that his arrest photo has gone fully viral, metastasizing throughout the internet in just two days on thousands of sites in dozens of countries. Veiovis was arrested in Massachusetts along with two accomplices for the murder of three men who were slated to testify at the criminal trial of a local Hell’s Angel. Veiovis has pleaded not guilty to the charges, and his lawyer must be on his knees in a church right now praying there are no eyewitnesses, because the cross examination would be a bitch:
 
Defense: “And how can you be so sure it was my client you saw running from the scene covered in blood and screaming exhortations to the Prince of Darkness?”
 
Witness: “Well, there’s the horns, and the 666 on his forehead, and, you know, those spiky—”
 
Defense: “So it’s safe to say you were focused on these adornments? So focused in fact, that you never really saw my client’s face, isn’t that correct?”
 
Witness: “Isn’t the forehead part of the face?”
 
Defense: “Is it? Then why isn’t it called the foreface, smart guy?”
 
Prosecution: “Objection! Badgering the witness.”
 
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”

Defense: “Ladies and gentlemen, my client’s adornments are no different than a hat and pair of sunglasses, accoutrements any of a thousand other men could easily wear, and probably do. In fact, I even have a couple of horns I wear sometimes. I got them when I passed the Bar Exam. Your Honor, move to dismiss.”     

 
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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 14
1911—Team Reaches South Pole
Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen, along with his team Olav Bjaaland, Helmer Hanssen, Sverre Hassel, and Oscar Wisting, becomes the first person to reach the South Pole. After a celebrated career, Amundsen eventually disappears in 1928 while returning from a search and rescue flight at the North Pole. His body is never found.
December 13
1944—Velez Commits Suicide
Mexican actress Lupe Velez, who was considered one of the great beauties of her day, commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. In her note, Velez says she did it to avoid bringing shame on her unborn child by giving birth to him out of wedlock, but many Hollywood historians believe bipolar disorder was the actual cause. The event inspired a 1965 Andy Warhol film entitled Lupe.
1958—Gordo the Monkey Lost After Space Flight
After a fifteen minute flight into space on a Jupiter AM-13 rocket, a monkey named Gordo splashes down in the South Pacific but is lost after his capsule sinks. The incident sparks angry protests from the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but NASA says animals are needed for such tests.
December 12
1968—Tallulah Bankhead Dies
American actress, talk show host, and party girl Tallulah Bankhead, who was fond of turning cartwheels in a dress without underwear and once made an entrance to a party without a stitch of clothing on, dies in St. Luke's Hospital in New York City of double pneumonia complicated by emphysema.
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