Modern Pulp Nov 18 2017
NOTTI GIRL
Laura Gemser bites off more than she can chew in z-grade zombie epic.


Finally! We've learned that the Italian poster artist who signed his work Aller was a man named Carlo Alessandrini, and we owe that information to a new book by Roberto Curti called Italian Gothic Horror Films 1970-1979. Above you see Alessandrini's work for the Laura Gemser sexploitation flick Le notti erotiche dei morti viventi, aka Sexy Nights of the Living Dead. Gemser started in erotica in 1974, and as the years wore on she basically traded on her name and did less and less actual performing, appearing in several films in little more than cameo roles. In this one she secures top billing for not showing up until the thirty-three minute mark, and not uttering a line of dialogue until probably forty minutes in.

Plotwise, a sailor takes a greedy gringo developer and his prostie companion to a deserted island where the American wants to build the finest resort in the Caribbean. The place is called Cat Island and whenever anyone mentions it to the locals who live on nearby islands they run out of the room. To normal people this would be a strong non-endorsement concerning travel to Cat Island, but such blatant hints are lost on lunkheads in horror movies. So a-boating they go. When the developer announces his plan to pave over the old island cemetery to build a heliport you just know he's sticking his dick somewhere he's likely to lose it—Gemser's mouth (see below). Her army of zombies are equally opposed to gentrification, and lodge their protests by chasing the living all over the place. But all is not lost. As the hero explains at one point: “The advantage we have is that they move at a snail's pace.”

So does the movie. One plus is that it was made primarily on beautiful beaches in the Dominican Republic, and several scenes were shot in Santo Domingo, which is interesting to see pre-tourist era. Another plus is that there's wall to wall sex featuring such beauties as Dirce Funari, who's the real star of the movie, and Lucia Ramirez. The unrated version goes all the way, and even treats viewers to a Tijuana donkey show-worthy routine involving a stripper and a Champagne bottle. None of the X action includes Gemser, who was strictly softcore her entire career, though her nudity is more explicit than usual here. Basically, it's all just as dumb as it sounds, but we'll admit it's accidentally funny in parts, which helps. Le notti erotiche dei morti viventi premiered in Italy today in 1980.

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Vintage Pulp Aug 14 2013
NAPOLEON COMPLEX
He’s one guy you don’t want to sell short.

Il Trionfo della casta Susanna, for which you see two posters above, isn’t pulp influenced—it’s a period comedy set during the Napoleonic era—but it does feature giallo superstar Edwige Fenech, and any Fenech is good Fenech. Also, the promo posters were painted by Aller, who we’ve shown you a couple of times before, and like Fenech anything he does is worth sharing. Just for fun, we actually watched this film, and basically, the hostess of a hotel saves Napoleon from an assassination attempt, gets romantically entangled with him, and learns some military secrets. By the way, did you know Napoleon wasn’t short? He was about 5’7”, which was above average for those days. Anyway, there’s a lot of bed hopping, tasteful nudity, and broad humor, but really we can’t recommend the movie. Il Trionfo della casta Susanna, aka Frau Wirtin hat auch eine Nichte, aka House of Pleasure opened in Italy today in 1969. 

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Vintage Pulp Jan 22 2011
HOUSE OF GAMES
They may be officers, but they’re certainly not gentlemen.

Hmm, how to assess Bruno Mattei’s nazisploitation flick Casa privata per le SS, aka La maison privée des SS, aka SS Girls? Well, let’s just say that the term softcore is too kind. In reality, it’s droopcore, or better yet, shrinkcore—i.e., watching this will affect your sex organs like a dip in icy waters. If you took out all the inept, thrashing semi-sex scenes, and the scenes of sweaty Gabriele Carrara playing his pipe organ, as well as the shots of Nazis laughing evilly (and interminably), what you’d have left is maybe forty minutes of Mystery Science Theatre-level awfulness about a group of women coerced into sleeping with high ranking SS officers in order to uncover a plot to betray Hitler. Our girlfriends gave up during the naked hunchback scene (“Oh my God! That’s revolting! How can you watch this?”) but we stuck with it and eventually focused our attentions on Macha Magall, who might be the only watchable cast member. But she’s eventually mutilated and dumped out a castle window, and the movie fatally plummets at that point too. So in the end, perhaps the flick’s best quality is its promo art by Aller, aka Carlo Alessandrini, which you see above. Casa privata per le SS premiered in Italy today in 1977. 

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Vintage Pulp Nov 10 2010
TRAINING WHEELS
Unholy Rollers never quite generates enough momentum.


What a difference four years makes. Talent-wise, the Claudia Jennings from the 1972 rags to riches flick Unholy Rollers is not remotely in the same league as the one from 1976’s Dynamite Women, which we discussed here. If Jennings ever had acting lessons, she must have driven to the first one ten minutes after Unholy Rollers wrapped. Some difficulties stem from poor scripting, editing and directing, but those problems take a backseat to the fact that Jennings simply hadn’t had enough dramatic training when she starred here. We recommend this one only for fans of Jennings and/or roller derby. Unholy Rollers premiered twenty-nine years ago today, and above we have probably the best part of it—the kick-ass promo poster painted by Aller, aka Carlo Alessandrini, for the movie's Italian run. 

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Vintage Pulp Apr 13 2009
TEACHER'S PET
Gloria Guida is the classic virgin sex bomb in La Liceale.


In the Italian sex comedy La Liceale, Gloria Guida plays the sort of cocktease supreme we’ve seen in films such as Lolita, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and American Beauty. Those are all great films, but the slapstick tone of La Liceale makes it more like a Benny Hill episode with nude scenes. Still, we give credit—Ms. Guida plays the role of a predatory virgin with an engaging sort of breeziness that makes her watchable even when she isn’t naked. She isn’t the only sexpot on display here—Ilona Staller, aka Ciccolina, gets her kit off as well. You may remember Staller went on to a career in hardcore porn before winning election to the Italian parliament promoting a platform of legalized brothels and no nukes. While those are two sentiments we support, we can’t quite call La Liceale a must-see film. But we think it has must-see poster art. It opened in Italy and France this month in 1975.

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 13
1944—Velez Commits Suicide
Mexican actress Lupe Velez, who was considered one of the great beauties of her day, commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. In her note, Velez says she did it to avoid bringing shame on her unborn child by giving birth to him out of wedlock, but many Hollywood historians believe bipolar disorder was the actual cause. The event inspired a 1965 Andy Warhol film entitled Lupe.
1958—Gordo the Monkey Lost After Space Flight
After a fifteen minute flight into space on a Jupiter AM-13 rocket, a monkey named Gordo splashes down in the South Pacific but is lost after his capsule sinks. The incident sparks angry protests from the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but NASA says animals are needed for such tests.
December 12
1968—Tallulah Bankhead Dies
American actress, talk show host, and party girl Tallulah Bankhead, who was fond of turning cartwheels in a dress without underwear and once made an entrance to a party without a stitch of clothing on, dies in St. Luke's Hospital in New York City of double pneumonia complicated by emphysema.
December 11
1962—Canada Has Last Execution
The last executions in Canada occur when Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin, both of whom are Americans who had been extradited north after committing separate murders in Canada, are hanged at Don Jail in Toronto. When Turpin is told that he and Lucas will probably be the last people hanged in Canada, he replies, “Some consolation.”
1964—Guevara Speaks at U.N.
Ernesto "Che" Guevara, representing the nation of Cuba, speaks at the 19th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York City. His speech calls for wholesale changes in policies between rich nations and poor ones, as well as five demands of the United States, none of which are met.
2008—Legendary Pin-Up Bettie Page Dies
After suffering a heart attack several days before, erotic model Bettie Page, who in the 1950s became known as the Queen of Pin-ups, dies when she is removed from life support machinery. Thanks to the unique style she displayed in thousands of photos and film loops, Page is considered one of the most influential beauties who ever lived.
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