Mondo Bizarro Nov 15 2011
SAVING FACE
Irish rock formation believed by some to be image of Jesus.

Every few weeks like clockwork, someone claims they’ve seen an image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary, and if it’s a slow press day and the art is good enough, the sighting goes viral. Our favorite examples of these, by far, are the astounding Griddle Virgin™ of May 2009, which narrowly edges the miraculous Connecticut Calf born in December of the same year. And what the hell, as long as we’re dispensing kudos, let’s not forget the uncanny, two-headed El-ganzoury calf born in Egypt in 2010. However, yesterday’s sighting of Jesus on the side of the Cliffs of Moher in Clare County, Ireland, has all the hallmarks of a frontrunner. After American tourist Sandra Clifford snapped the above image during an aerial sightseeing tour, she declared, “To me it was Jesus Christ straightaway.” Which leads us to ask, rather inconveniently we suspect, “How do you know what he looked like?” In every other Jesus sighting of which we’ve heard, identification was helped by the fact that the image wore robes, or a cowl, or maybe even a crown of thorns. But to declare that the vaguely simian rock formation above is Jesus strikes us as overreaching a bit. And if it is him, we’re worried that he manifested in a place where only people who can afford sightseeing flights can see him. That doesn’t seem like a very Christ-like move. But then we breathed a sigh of relief, because we finally realized the image in the Moher rocks isn’t Jesus—it’s Jesus Christ Superstar, as played by actor Ted Neeley in the 1973 blockbuster musical. It’s all just a run-of-the-mill case of mistaken identity. 

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
February 16
1937—Carothers Patents Nylon
Wallace H. Carothers, an American chemist, inventor and the leader of organic chemistry at DuPont Corporation, receives a patent for a silk substitute fabric called nylon. Carothers was a depressive who for years carried a cyanide capsule on a watch chain in case he wanted to commit suicide, but his genius helped produce other polymers such as neoprene and polyester. He eventually did take cyanide—not in pill form, but dissolved in lemon juice—resulting in his death in late 1937.
February 15
1933—Franklin Roosevelt Survives Assassination Attempt
In Miami, Florida, Giuseppe Zangara attempts to shoot President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, but is restrained by a crowd and, in the course of firing five wild shots, hits five people, including Chicago, Illinois Mayor Anton J. Cermak, who dies of his wounds three weeks later. Zangara is quickly tried and sentenced to eighty years in jail for attempted murder, but is later convicted of murder when Cermak dies. Zangara is sentenced to death and executed in Florida's electric chair.
February 14
1929—Seven Men Shot Dead in Chicago
Seven people, six of them gangster rivals of Al Capone's South Side gang, are machine gunned to death in Chicago, Illinois, in an event that would become known as the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Because two of the shooters were dressed as police officers, it was initially thought that police might have been responsible, but an investigation soon proved the killings were gang related. The slaughter exceeded anything yet seen in the United States at that time.
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