 She’s having a hanging party and you’re the guest of honor. 
Imagine our surprise. The Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 has offered up its first fully clothed model of the year. The bad news is she’s also wearing a wicked expression and holding a rope. The model is unknown to us, but since she was photographed by filmmaker Russ Meyer, it’s possible she appeared in one of his films and we simply don’t recognize her. Anyway, lovely shot, cool jeans, great hair, scary rope. As for this week’s observations, you have to marvel at the Goodtime guys’ self confidence in using original material. And really, why not? Who needs Shakespeare? Why quote Oscar Wilde? No sir. When you can come up with the word “nutwork” all by yourself, clearly classical wit and wisdom have been outshone. And that one about how a waitress catches more passes than a football player? Sub. Lime. More quips below, but shield your eyes. This is incandescent stuff. Nov 17: “Hard cash makes life soft.”—Freddie Flintstone Nov 18: “Some of the prettiest girls in television sell the dullest products.”—Mae Maloo Nov 19: Now you know why TV stations called themselves nutwork. Nov 20: “The hardest decision for a woman to make is when to start middle age.”—Warren Hull. Nov 21: “Overheard: ‘If my boss thinks I’m going to work 35 hours a week, he’d better look for another girl.’”—Irv Kupcinet. Nov 22: A waitress catches more passes than a football player. Nov 23: One world: Where America has most of the world’s automobiles and Russia has the most parking space. Update: All we have to do is ask. A reader identified the model for us, and even pointed us toward another image, which you see below. She is a British model named Iris Bristol, and besides posing awesomely for photos she had several uncredited roles in movies and television, including a blink-and-you-miss-it bit in My Fair Lady. Thanks to Jo B. for digging up that info.
 
We’re back to famed photographer Peter Gowland in this week’s installment of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, as he offers up an unknown model in a demure pose. The sayings for this last bit of May include one we can’t make sense of at all (what exactly does it mean to be Dutch below the waist?), and the calendar’s editors also dig deep into history for a quote from Philippe Paul de Ségur, who was a general and historian. Neither of those pursuits makes him an authority on women, but he was also French, and if you ask any Frenchman, that does make him an authority on women. See our other calendar pages here. May 26: “Too many diplomats sit down to iron things out but only succeed in mangling them.”—Wally Phillips
May 27: Sign at a night club: Good clean entertainment every night except Monday.
May 28: An attractive woman: English to the neck, French to the waist, Dutch below.
May 29: “Men say of women what pleases them; women do with men what pleases them.”—de Segur
May 30: “A woman’s piece of mind often destroys a man’s piece of mind.”—Mae Maloo
May 31: “All she wants is a roof over her head and the right to raise it once in a while.”—Arnold Glasgow
June 1: “Oh, what is so bare as a dame in June?”—Earl Wilson
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1986—Otto Preminger Dies
Austro–Hungarian film director Otto Preminger, who directed such eternal classics as Laura, Anatomy of a Murder, Carmen Jones, The Man with the Golden Arm, and Stalag 17, and for his efforts earned a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, dies in New York City, aged 80, from cancer and Alzheimer's disease. 1998—James Earl Ray Dies
The convicted assassin of American civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., petty criminal James Earl Ray, dies in prison of hepatitis aged 70, protesting his innocence as he had for decades. Members of the King family who supported Ray's fight to clear his name believed the U.S. Government had been involved in Dr. King's killing, but with Ray's death such questions became moot. 1912—Pravda Is Founded
The newspaper Pravda, or Truth, known as the voice of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, begins publication in Saint Petersburg. It is one of the country's leading newspapers until 1991, when it is closed down by decree of then-President Boris Yeltsin. A number of other Pravdas appear afterward, including an internet site and a tabloid. 1983—Hitler's Diaries Found
The German magazine Der Stern claims that Adolf Hitler's diaries had been found in wreckage in East Germany. The magazine had paid 10 million German marks for the sixty small books, plus a volume about Rudolf Hess's flight to the United Kingdom, covering the period from 1932 to 1945. But the diaries are subsequently revealed to be fakes written by Konrad Kujau, a notorious Stuttgart forger. Both he and Stern journalist Gerd Heidemann go to trial in 1985 and are each sentenced to 42 months in prison. 1918—The Red Baron Is Shot Down
German WWI fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, better known as The Red Baron, sustains a fatal wound while flying over Vaux sur Somme in France. Von Richthofen, shot through the heart, manages a hasty emergency landing before dying in the cockpit of his plane. His last word, according to one witness, is "Kaputt." The Red Baron was the most successful flying ace during the war, having shot down at least 80 enemy airplanes. 1964—Satellite Spreads Radioactivity
An American-made Transit satellite, which had been designed to track submarines, fails to reach orbit after launch and disperses its highly radioactive two pound plutonium power source over a wide area as it breaks up re-entering the atmosphere.
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