 Chestnuts roasting by an open fire. 
After a few weeks of uncharacteristically normal models, the guys from Goodtime Weekly get back to business as usual with a photo from Ron Vogel and model who is—there’s no other phrase—enormously endowed. Autumn is here, after all, so perhaps she symbolizes the stockpiling of food for winter, the horn of plenty filled with inexhaustible gifts, the warmth sought on cold nights. Or maybe they just liked big boobs. Anyway, we said last week we’d try a few of the Goodtime quips in the real world, and, “Ahhh!” Ahhh haaah!” was usually the reaction. Or, “That’s, um—where did you hear that?” But a few went over well. So experiment inconclusive. We’ll continue testing during the next couple of weeks, because the American expat clique has a few Halloween related social gatherings coming up. When we’re done with this experiment we will know definitively whether Goodtime Weekly humor is timeless, or should simply be forgotten. Oct 20: “Mother-in-law: A woman who arranged a match for her daughter and then intends to referee as well.”—Pat Buttram Oct 21: “Bar bells are sometimes easier to pick up than bar bills.”—Sam Cowling Oct 22: “The wife of an archaeologist says, ‘The older I get the better I look to my husband.’”—Phyllis Diller Oct 23: “A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.”—Ambrose Bierce Oct 24: Cars are not the only things that can hit and run a man down; gossipers have done worse. Oct 25: “A perfect husband is one who can understand every word his wife isn’t saying.”—Sig Sakowicz Oct 26: “Some wives cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go,”—Freddie Flintstone
 Hmm, maybe I should change this wallpaper. 
Some well known photographers have contributed to the Goodtime Weekly Calendar, but the above image is by a true icon—Bruno Bernard, aka Bernard of Hollywood. The German-born Bernard possessed a doctorate in criminal psychology and had no formal photographic training, but after leaving Germany in 1937 was operating his own portrait studio within a year. His second studio was on Sunset Boulevard, and that’s where he worked for 25 years, along the way creating such iconic images as Marilyn Monroe’s Niagara and River of No Return promos, Lili St. Cyr’s Indian headdress and transparent bathtub shots, and portraits of virtually every star in mid-century Hollywood. The Goodtime Calendar has several other Bernard contributions, and you’ll see those as the year continues. As a side note, you may be wondering why we’re showing you this second week of July image a week early. It’s because we’re headed off to Sevilla, Spain tomorrow for a week or so, and we won’t be posting during that time. Well, you never know. Probably we won’t. Depends on what we see. But anyway, we didn’t want our vacation to interrupt our Goodtime Weekly series, so you get this page a week early. You also get the quips a week early:
July 7: “When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”—Larry Attebery July 8: When a pensive little thing gets married, she often becomes an expensive little thing. July 9: “A psychiatrist is a man who doesn’t have to worry so long as other people do.”—Pat Buttram July 10: “A Hollywood guy changes his name once, a dollar bill once in a while, and his girl once she gets wise.”—Joe Hamilton July 11: A man is incomplete until he marries—then he’s really finished. July 12: “Science is dandy, but what makes a world’s fair is sex and cotton candy.”—Gracie Hansen
July 13: Small town: a place where there’s no recreation for single folks once the sun goes down. Germany, Hollywood, Niagara, River of No Return, Goodtime Weekly Calendar, Bruno Bernard, Bernard of Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, Lili St. Cyr, Larry Attebery, Pat Buttram, Joe Hamilton, Gracie Hansen, nudity
 The Good Times just keep on coming. 
Another Saturday, another installment from the Good Time Weekly Calendar of 1963. The model above resisted all attempts at identification, and the photographer is listed as anonymous, but fret not—the daily quotations are faithfully transcribed below. This time, women are the targets of the assorted quipsters. We know this type of humor was considered good fun back then, but really, isn't it a little twisted to bash women while looking at their naked bodies for sexual gratification? Just asking. Still no clue on the He-who Who-he reference, by the way. Anyone with info please feel free to drop us a line. March 24: “In most of our Hollywood beauty shops the gossip alone would curl your hair.”—Pat Buttram March 25: “One picture is worth 10,000 words—but for some reason most women prefer to use 10,000 words.”—George Gobel March 26: No one can tell her anything—she’s got sound proof ears. March 27: “In many conversations a man can’t break in because a woman won’t break off.”’—Telly Savalas March 28: You never know how much the voice can change till a woman stops yelling and answers the phone. March 29: “A woman doesn’t tell the truth all the time—there just isn’t that much truth.”—He-who Who-he March 30: “The best way to tie a woman down is with a telephone cord.”—Paul Gibson.
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1928—Earhart Crosses Atlantic Ocean
American aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean, riding as a passenger in a plane piloted by Wilmer Stutz and maintained by Lou Gordon. Earhart would four years later go on to complete a trans-Atlantic flight as a pilot, leaving from Newfoundland and landing in Ireland, accomplishing the feat solo without a co-pilot or mechanic. 1939—Eugen Weidmann Is Guillotined
In France, Eugen Weidmann is guillotined in the city of Versailles outside Saint-Pierre Prison for the crime of murder. He is the last person to be publicly beheaded in France, however executions by guillotine continue away from the public until September 10, 1977, when Hamida Djandoubi becomes the last person to receive the grisly punishment. 1972—Watergate Burglars Caught
In Washington, D.C., five White House operatives are arrested for burglarizing the offices of the Democratic National Committee in the Watergate Hotel. The botched burglary was an attempt by members of the Republican Party to illegally wiretap the opposition. The resulting scandal ultimately leads to the resignation of President Richard Nixon, and also results in the indictment and conviction of several administration officials. 1961—Rudolph Nureyev Defects from Soviet Union
Russian ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev defects at Le Bourget airport in Paris. The western press reported that it was his love for Chilean heiress Clara Saint that triggered the event, but in reality Nuryev had been touring Europe with the Kirov Ballet and defected in order to avoid punishment for his continual refusal to abide by rules imposed upon the tour by Moscow. |
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