Single fatherhood can be a real challenge.
Below is a collection of Japanese posters for the amazingly entertaining film series Kozure Ōkami, aka Lone Wolf and Cub, starring Tomisaburô Wakayama as a warrior who has to single-handedly care for his child as legions of assassins try to murder him. More info below.
Two posters for Kozure Ōkami: Kowokashi udekashi tsukamatsuru, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance.
Two posters for Kozure Ōkami: Sanzu no kawa no ubaguruma, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx.
Kozure Ōkami: Shinikazeni mukau ubaguruma, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades.
This is the only poster we don't have the panel length for: Kozure Ōkami: Oya no kokoro ko no kokoro, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril. To complete the collection we snagged this image off the internet.
Kozure Ōkami: Meifumado, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons.
Kozure Ōkami: Jigoku e ikuzo! Daigoro, aka Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell.
There's one more movie, 1980's Kozure Ōkami, aka Shogun Assassin, mainly put together using footage from the previous films, none of which had really been seen in the West to that point. Shogun Assassin, though not properly part of the series, is easy to find and as a one-off it's fine and entertaining, but we recommend you do yourself a favor and watch the canonical films.
It’s not their fault—it’s a jean-etic disorder.
In pulp and sleaze fiction there are many types of bad women—vamps, golddiggers, black widows, you name it—but women who wear jeans, or even jean shorts, are destined for a special brand of trouble. Some of these women are already corrupt while others are merely at the gateway, but they all end up in the same place—Calamity City, daddy-o.
But ask now the beasts, and they shall eat thee.
It’s been a while since our last collection of animal attack magazine covers, so on this lovely Friday (at least where we are) we thought we’d give nature a chance to express its opinion about humanity. And its opinion is: “I hate all of you. Even the pretty ones.” We have eleven more examples of nature's unreasonable stance below, including a great piranha cover that features the one guy who in real life would know better than to be attacked being attacked. Anyway, just to give you an idea how many men’s magazines there were, and how pervasive this animal attack theme was, all the publications we've posted are different. There are actually even more, but we couldn’t locate good scans of those. Which reminds us to thank the original uploaders on these.
Miss France runs into a world of problems.
Beauty pageants are sexual events. Let’s not debate it. Despite claims by many that they’re merely a celebration of health, beauty, and talent, they provoke a subtly sexual reaction, a bit like the foot rubs in the film Pulp Fiction. To quote Vincent Vega: “We act like they don’t, but they do. There’s a sensuous thing going on where you don’t talk about it, but you know it.” Isabelle Chaudieu certainly must have known it. She won the title of Miss France today in 1984, four days before her eighteenth birthday. Unfortunately for pageant organizers, she had already posed nude for a professional photographer. The French magazine Lui bought the photos, paired them with shots of Chaudieu in her pageant regalia, and splashed them inside its February 1985 issue. In France as elsewhere magazines hit the newsstands a bit earlier than their official publication date, which led to Chaudieu being stripped of her title on the 31st of January 1985 and being replaced by runner-up Carole Tredille.
Beauty pageants are falling out of favor. There's no doubt of that. More people are beginning to understand our original point that they’re basically sexual in nature. This isn’t because such people have dirty minds. Reasonably speaking, when people see a woman parade up and down in a bathing suit they aren’t imagining her swimming the 200 meter butterfly—they’re imagining her peeling out of the suit and performing the Venus butterfly. Sex is the reason every one of us came into being and is the main goal, biologically speaking, of all our lives. It’s just plain silly to expect people not to be reminded of it. And pageant organizers know their product does exactly that, which is why they punish women like Chaudieu, Vanessa Williams, and others for displaying themselves as sexual beings. It’s toweringly hypocritical, but also understandable in the sense that they’re desperate to protect a highly profitable product.
The photo we’ve shared below of Chaudieu showing off her body as well as her 10,000 megawatt smile didn’t come from her Lui layout but rather from one of the many later sessions she did after deciding to make a career of glamour modeling. She wasn’t the first Miss France to be dethroned because of nude pictures. In 1983 Isabelle Turpaultwas defrocked for photos published by Paris Match. And interestingly, Chaudieu’s replacement performed in hardcore porn under the name Tenessy after her reign as Miss France. Chaudieu had cinematic ambitions as well, but of the mainstream variety. She appeared in Gwendoline, aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, but that was her only screen credit. After a few years posing for men’s magazines she disappeared from the public eye, and today a person who was once the most famous—or notorious—in France, doesn’t even have a French Wikipedia page.
Just exactly who’s Kitaen who here?
We recently stumbled upon across a full-sized version of a promo still of Tawny Kitaen we posted last year from her fantastically cheesy 1984 adventure The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak. These new images come from a website that seems to be missing in action now, so we can’t link to it, but thanks guys, wherever you are. For those who haven’t seen this movie, we aren’t going to sully our reputations by describing it as good. But it does have a certain, how shall we say, je ne sais quoi, an intangible wonderfulness that derives mainly from watching Tawny Kitaen transform from buttoned-up schoolmarm to mostly-naked warrior vixen. Also, it helps to be young, desperately horny virgins when you watch it. Actually, maybe that’s the only reason we liked it. In any case, this Raiders-style thriller about a woman chasing a mythical butterfly in the exotic wilds of China, ably directed by Emmanuelle auteur Just Jaeckin, is erotica at its most highbrow. Gwendoline is now considered a cult classic. Virgins and non-virgins alike should give it a whirl.
You can’t stop her, you can only hope to Kitaen her.
American actress Tawny Kitaen in a promo shot from her b-movie extraordinaire Gwendoline, aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, circa 1984.
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