Webber and friend go for a dip—in the style of their dresses.
On the cover of Looks Like Fun!, a Café Society Series album by comedian Cliff Ferré, both models have decided to test the far limits of 1956 fashion with their dresses. Diane Webber, on the right, gets all Vikki Dougan with her asscrack, while her unidentified friend goes the more conventional route with a neckline that plunges so far it becomes a navel line. Not that we're complaining. The only thing we're unhappy about is not being able to name the model on the left. She's the same person as in this Technicolor lithograph, and we know that the photo was made by Tom Kelley. Beyond that we got nada. We would love to know who she is because we have her on three more lithographs we're reluctant to share without info.
As far as the content of the record goes, what you get is a collection of comical musical pieces. Sample titles: “A Cocky Cowboy” and “Fifi's Got the Biggest One in France.” Yeah. It's really bad. But you don't have to take our word for it—if you're the courageous type you can have a listen here. At least the platter is made from red vinyl, as you see at right. That's almost worth the purchase price. Almost. If you have any ideas on the unidentified model please drop us a line at the usual place: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Above, the latest page of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, with a Tom Kelley image of a model that is unknown to us. This is Kelley's fourth page in the calendar, and you can see his others by clicking his keyword below.
Jan 13: “A woman never forgets her sex. She would rather talk with a man than an angel any day.”—O.W. Holmes
Jan 14: “In Hawaii, girls wear grass skirts. I used to watch and wait for the grass to catch on fire.”—Red Skelton
Jan 15: “A mermaid is half girl and more fish than you need.”—Jack Paar
Jan 16: “A capella is when you come out of the shower to answer a televised telephone.”—Johnny Carson
Jan 17: “A blonde is superior to a cat; a cat can only dye nine times.”—Sam Cowling
Jan 18: “Years ago a nice girl wouldn’t think of holding her date’s hand; now she has to.”—He-who Who-he
Jan 19: “A girl wants to buy a referee’s whistle, because she has a date with a basketball player.”—Quin Ryan
We’ve always preferred women who keep a little fur between their legs.
Because the end is near as regards the Goodtime Weekly Calendar (the last pages will come up in February) we’ve been looking high and low for another weekly calendar to post. We found only one. It was on Amazon, it was the calendar we already have, and it was priced at $75. Even though we scored ours for three bucks from the Denver Book Fair last time we were in the U.S., we probably shouldn’t have been surprised someone was trying to sell it for so much. Nearly every Goodtime Weekly photo we’ve posted, including shots of Brigitte Bardot and Jayne Mansfield, as well as work from photographers like Russ Meyer and Ron Vogel, have been images that have never appeared online before. The same is true of this week’s effort from Tom Kelley, who also shot the most famous Marilyn Monroe photo of all time. His model, whose identity is unknown to us, is rather provocatively posed. In fact the Pulp Intl. girlfriends said it was the most sexual pose of any of our calendar shots. She does look a bit as if she’s sitting on a Sybian. Maybe that’s why she has such a satisfied expression on her face.
Dec 1: “A woman is the only being that can skin a wolf and get a mink.”—Sam Cowling
Dec 2: “People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.”—Freddie Flintstone.
Dec 3: “She isn’t really stupid, but the last time she went to a mind reader she didn’t have to pay.”—Jerry Lester
Dec 4: “A woman worried so much about growing old that she turned blonde overnight.”—Earl Wilson
Dec 5: “If a woman doesn’t get the one she wants to marry, heaven help the one she gets.”—Rose Franzblau
Dec 6: “When a gal marries a man to mend his ways, she usually finds out he isn’t worth a darn.”—John Doremus.
Dec 7: Girls who try to be walking encyclopedias may notice that reference books are never taken out.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
The boys at Goodtime Weekly are finally finished with marriage as a topic for their quips. Unfortunately, their more eclectic fare leaves a lot to be desired. But we’ve faithfully transcribed their wisdom below. The photo this week, which for some reason brings wedding cakes to our minds, is by Tom Kelley, who provided a similarly dreamy photo earlier this month. The model is unidentified.
June 30: More diets start in front of a mirror than a doctor’s order.
July 1: “If you like to go around with girls—take them on the Ferris wheel.”—Sam Cowling
July 2: Small dolls love to yell “Mommy,” bigger ones, “Money.”
July 3: “She who says ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’ must be a lawyer’s daughter.”—He-who Who-he
July 4: Independence Day. American still ends in “I can.”
July 5: “Interpreting dance: The police interpret it in one way and her lawyer interprets it another.”—Jack Benny
July 6: Summer is the time for flies to make their screen tests.
Be a darling and get me an iced tea with lemon.
The Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 opens the month of June with a tropical-themed shot by Tom Kelley, whose name may be unfamiliar but whose work isn’t, if you’ve ever seen those famous nudes of a young Marilyn Monroe stretched on red velvet. Kelley shot those timeless photos in May 1949 for a pin-up calendar, and they were acquired by Playboy for its debut issue in 1953. The model above is unknown to us, but we love the shot. Kelley uses a standard-issue studio backdrop, but makes magic with a hammock and a great reclining pose. Kelley has another page in this calendar but it won’t come up until December. Guess you’ll have to keep visiting our website, right? Don’t answer that. The quotations this week focus on the institution of marriage. See below.
June 2: June is the month when the bride who has never had a broom in her hand sweeps up the aisle.
June 3: “A bridegroom is a wolf who paid too much for a whistle.”—Henry Morgan
June 4: Generally, the bride looks stunning and the groom looks stunned.
June 5: “Marriage is like boxing: the preliminaries are often better than the main event.”—Quin Ryan
June 6: “A Hollywood wedding, as a rule, is generally a retake.”—Rip Taylor
June 7: “15 percent of all tornadoes in this country fall in June. And so do most marriages.”—Phil Bowman
June 8: “There’s no use giving the groom a shower because he’s all washed up anyway.”—Henry Morgan
Marilyn had a little lamb, but soon she'd have the world.
By now we shouldn’t be surprised where Marilyn Monroe turns up. Still though, we never thought we’d see her befrocked and befrilled, fondling livestock in a field. Yet there she is on the April 26, 1946 cover of the women’s magazine The Family Circle. At the time, Monroe was modeling just about anywhere she could find work, going by her real name Norma Jeane Daugherty. She was twenty years old, one year away from her first film appearance, and two years away from her first minor film contract with Columbia Pictures. The year after that, in 1949, still trying to make ends meet, she posed nude for photographer Tom Kelley. In 1952 one photo from that session ended up on a Western Lithograph Co. pin-up calendar. Monroe was a contract player with 20th Century Fox by then, and the studio feared the photos would cause a scandal. They were wrong. Monroeadmitted posing nude to pay the rent, and the public was fine with it. The next month she appeared on the cover of Life. Said Monroe: “Oh, the calendar’s hanging in garages all over town. Why deny it? You can get one anyplace. Besides, I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve done nothing wrong.”
Monroe’s career took off from there, but there’s a modern postscript to the story—namely, with the internet being what it is (a massive repository of misinformation the likes of which we never could have imagined a mere fifteen years ago), there are many shots of Monroe out there that are misidentified as the one that ended up on that 1952 calendar. So we took the liberty of posting a scan of the Life story, with its inset of the Monroe calendar. The shot you see there—and not the several others appearing on assorted websites—is the one that scandalized Monroe’s bosses but was shrugged off by the public. The nude image is pretty small in Life, but the internet being what it is (a massive repository of nakedness the likes of which we could never have imagined—but always hoped for), we were able to simply grab a larger version of Kelley’s shot and post it below so that, for purely academic interest, you can have a closer look. The photo will disappear if we get a cease and desist order, but for now it’s there.
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1912—Piltdown Man Discovered
A hominid fossil known as Piltdown Man is found in England's Piltdown Gravel Pit by paleontologist Charles Dawson. The fragments are thought by many experts of the day to be the fossilized remains of a hitherto unknown form of early man, but in 1953 it is discovered to be a hoax composed of a human skeleton and an orangutan's jawbone. The identity of the Piltdown forger remains unknown, but suspects have included Dawson, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Arthur Conan Doyle and others.
1967—Australian Prime Minister Disappears
The Prime Minister of Australia, Harold Holt, who was best known for expanding Australia's role in the Vietnam War, disappears while swimming at Cheviot Beach near Portsea, Victoria and is presumed drowned.
1969—Project Blue Book Ends
The United States Air Force completes its study of UFOs, stating that sightings are generated as a result of a mild form of mass hysteria, and that individuals who fabricate such reports do so to perpetrate a hoax or seek publicity, or are psychopathological persons, or simply misidentify various conventional objects.
1985—Gotti Ascends to Mafia Throne
In New York City, mafiosi Paul Castellano and Thomas Bilotti are shot dead on the orders of John Gotti, paving the way for Gotti to assume leadership of the powerful Gambino crime family. Gotti is eventually arrested by federal authorities in 1990, and dies of throat cancer in 2002 in a federal prison hospital.
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