We’ve had some pumpkin thefts around the palatial Pulp Intl. offices, so we resorted to setting up a security camera, and sure enough we got a clear frame of the robber—silent film actress Dorothy Dix. Imagine our surprise. We tracked her to her lair in the basement of the local revival cinema and found all our pumpkins, plus some fly witch hats she stole from Target. Obviously, she had been reincarnated, which not only explains her presence after her death, but also her youthful appearance.
We chatted and she told us she just wanted a little attention because she never really got it during her acting career, which consisted of appearances in a mere five full length films, and twice that number of short features, including, ironically, 1934’s The Gold Ghost. Well, she’s getting full attention here. And after telling her how many visitors we get she was thrilled. But we also had to explain the entire internet concept to her, and once she understood it she decided she was better off dead. And poof! She was gone.