By today in 1974, which is when this issue of National Informer Reader appeared, the magazine was nearing its end. It’s easy to tell. There’s less content than in pervious years, and there’s a proliferation of penny-ante ads in the front half of the layout. In the magazine world it’s understood that ads in the front are the ones most often seen by readers. The back page and inside back page are prime spots too, but otherwise it’s the front half of the book that makes publishers money because advertisers pay more for it. But readers will skip past ads if they aren’t adjacent to editorial content, so there needs to be a careful balance between the two. In this Reader that balance is gone. The entirety of pages two through seven are given over to ads and personals. You wanna know what angry is? Try the angry of an advertiser that opens a magazine and sees that his or her ad is surrounded not by readable content that keeps the reader on the page, but by other ads.
But there are still some treats even in a late stage Reader. “Older Women Are Flocking To Massage Parlors Run By Young Virile Studs” is pure gold, just for that descriptive header alone. But sometimes a header is so bizarre there’s no way to tell what the story is about. “New Vasectomy Ties Tell Women Who To Date.” Huh? What the hell kind of ties do they mean? Like the ones they use to tie your tubes? Turns out they mean it literally. A vasectomy clinic in London allegedly gave patients neckties with Vs running down the front, indicating the wearer had been snipped. And supposedly women flocked to these guys. We’ve been unable to corroborate the story, but it feels different from the second rate bull tabloid editors usually concoct—heh, we said coct—so we suspect it’s truthful. And fittingly, there’s cock in this issue, and not on slobs either—on nice looking guys, though none are swinging low, if you know what we mean. But still, something for our female readers. And male readers too. You’re welcome. Cock and bull below.
