SHLOCK AND KEY

Unlocking the door to all your darkest and dirtiest thoughts.

Keyhole’s slogan is “for mature adults.” We think it’s more for horny high schoolers, but there’s no doubt it’s a bold tabloid. This issue published today in 1972 has everything from swinging sex safaris (“Make sure your gun is loaded for bare”) to gay frat houses (“They don’t swallow goldfish anymore”). None of it’s real, of course. The frat house story is a firsthand account of a new pledge at a Harvard fraternity who doesn’t discover the members dress in drag until he goes under the skirt of a blonde lovely and gets a handful of nutsack. The article features a photo of a bearish model with a volume of Shakespeare over his willie. The sex safari story features British model Susan Shaw in what could easily be someone’s unweeded back garden. But while the stories are phony, they’re at least funny—not on their merits so much, but because people actually got paid to write them. Quite a way to make a living. What’s even funnier? People bought Keyhole. We have a few scans below, and sharp-eyed readers may recognize American glamour model Sylvia Bayo, aka Lucienne Camille as the Keyhole Cutie for the month.

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

2011—Elizabeth Taylor Dies

American actress Elizabeth Taylor, whose career began at age 12 when she starred in National Velvet, and who would eventually be nominated for five Academy Awards as best actress and win for Butterfield 8 and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, dies of congestive heart failure in Los Angeles. During her life she had been hospitalized more than 70 times.

1963—Profumo Denies Affair

In England, the Secretary of State for War, John Profumo, denies any impropriety with showgirl Christine Keeler and threatens to sue anyone repeating the allegations. The accusations involve not just infidelity, but the possibility acquaintances of Keeler might be trying to ply Profumo for nuclear secrets. In June, Profumo finally resigns from the government after confessing his sexual involvement with Keeler and admitting he lied to parliament.

1978—Karl Wallenda Falls to His Death

World famous German daredevil and high-wire walker Karl Wallenda, founder of the acrobatic troupe The Flying Wallendas, falls to his death attempting to walk on a cable strung between the two towers of the Condado Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Wallenda is seventy-three years old at the time, but it is a 30 mph wind, rather than age, that is generally blamed for sending him from the wire.

2006—Swedish Spy Stig Wennerstrom Dies

Swedish air force colonel Stig Wennerström, who had been convicted in the 1970s of passing Swedish, U.S. and NATO secrets to the Soviet Union over the course of fifteen years, dies in an old age home at the age of ninety-nine. The Wennerström affair, as some called it, was at the time one of the biggest scandals of the Cold War.

1963—Alcatraz Closes

The federal penitentiary located on Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay closes. The island had been home to a lighthouse, a military fortification, and a military prison over the years. In 1972, it would become a national recreation area open to tourists, and it would receive national landmark designations in 1976 and 1986.

1916—Einstein Publishes General Relativity

German-born theoretical physicist Albert Einstein publishes his general theory of relativity. Among the effects of the theory are phenomena such as the curvature of space-time, the bending of rays of light in gravitational fields, faster than light universe expansion, and the warping of space time around a rotating body.

Cover art by Norman Saunders for Jay Hart's Tonight, She's Yours, published by Phantom Books in 1965.
Uncredited cover for Call Girl Central: 08~022, written by Frédéric Dard for Éditions de la Pensée Moderne and its Collection Tropiques, 1955.
Four pink Perry Mason covers with Robert McGinnis art for Pocket Books.
Unknown artist produces lurid cover for Indian true crime magazine Nutan Kahaniyan.

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