AMAZON FALLS

Once upon a rain forest dreary.

From the immortal director Alfonso Brescia, who gave humanity films such as Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Women and Kill Rommel!, comes Le amazzoni – donne d’amore e di guerra, aka Battle of the Amazons. As you’ve no doubt guessed, it’s a sword and sandal epic, shot in Italy and starring an international cast of b-level actors, including Lincoln Tate, Lucretia Love, Paola Tedesco, and Solvi Stubing. In the film, a group of villagers hire some thieves to help defend against a band of Amazons.

You’ve seen this plot before when it was called The Magnificent Seven, or better yet Seven Samurai, but unfortunately, the only magnificent aspects of Amazzoni are the various scantily clad women. These warriors are hot, but also exceedingly mean. They kill their own wounded, torture people in various diabolical ways, and run roughshod over the nearby peasants like a band of neocons, appropriating whatever or whomever they desire.

When the thieves and villagers make their mutual defense pact, we get a little culture clash comic relief to lighten the tone, which is good because the entire film is so dark it looks like it was shot through a pair of welding goggles. Eventually the fun and games end and we’re off to a climactic final battle, the outcome of which we won’t spoil except to say that in a movie with an anti-feminist subtext, things are not likely to end well for queen ballbuster. The above poster was produced for the film’s Italian premiere today in 1973, and you can see the original trailer here.

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