This January 1974 issue of The National Police Gazette gives shape to every actress’s worst fear—natural aging. Editors slapped the header: “Oh my God! What’s happened to Ava?” above a photo of fifty-four year-old Ava Gardner, and the collective shiver that ran through Hollywood women probably resulted in a 4.5 Richter Scale earth temblor. Interestingly, Gazette editors don’t actually slam Gardner in the accompanying article, but they don’t have to because the message is clear in that header and the accompanying photo—Holy shit, look at this hag that just fell out of the ugly tree! There’s no doubt show business was and is a brutal field for women, but at least in Ava’s case you don’t have to feel too bad. She had become a millionaire thanks to cinema and was living in comfort in her favorite country Spain, sipping rioja and perfecting the siesta. The presumed gasps of horror from fans that remembered her as an ingénue would have been the flipside of a Devil’s bargain that allowed her to achieve that life. We doubt she gave a toss what the Gazette thought anyway. Elsewhere in this issue editors treat you to Raquel Welch, Muhammad Ali, UFOs, test tube babies, bikini bombshells of 1974, and much more. Okay, see you tomorrow—we’re off for our Botox injections. Hey, we never said we were as strong as Ava.
