THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY

Ouch, that hurts! Wow, what a view!

Allow yourself to be tortured to get laid? What sort of idiot would do that? Not you, right? No, but you did sit through all those episodes of Sex and the City. Remember that? And let’s not forget all the times you ordered vegetarian at dinner. It’s coming back to you now, isn’t it? Hurts, right? Think you can take more? Ha ha. Remember that time you stayed the weekend at a B&B? I’m sorry, was that a scream we heard? No? Of course it wasn’t. You’re way too tough for that. Say, remember that time you took a salsa class? Oh, the pain. And remember that time you missed the Superbowl telecast because she wanted to go wine tasting? And let’s not forget that trip to Vegas with your buddies you missed because she got tickets to go to an art exhibit that weekend. Yes, we know. Just let it go. Let the tears flow. There there. There there. What was that? We’re sorry, we couldn’t quite understand what you said through all your blubbering. You said you’d rather be chained and whipped instead? It’s too late my friend—you made your choice.

Passion Carousel, Tony Calvano, cover art, literature

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

January 23

1912—International Opium Convention Signed

The International Opium Convention is signed at The Hague, Netherlands, and is the first international drug control treaty. The agreement was signed by Germany, the U.S., China, France, the UK, Italy, Japan, Netherlands, Persia, Portugal, Russia, and Siam.

January 22

1946—CIA Forerunner Created

U.S. president Harry S. Truman establishes the Central Intelligence Group or CIG, an interim authority that lasts until the Central Intelligence Agency is established in September of 1947.

January 22

1957—George Metesky Is Arrested

The New York City “Mad Bomber,” a man named George P. Metesky, is arrested in Waterbury, Connecticut and charged with planting more than 30 bombs. Metesky was angry about events surrounding a workplace injury suffered years earlier. Of the thirty-three known bombs he planted, twenty-two exploded, injuring fifteen people. He was apprehended based on an early use of offender profiling and because of clues given in letters he wrote to a newspaper. At trial he was found legally insane and committed to a state mental hospital.

January 21

1950—Alger Hiss Is Convicted of Perjury

American lawyer Alger Hiss is convicted of perjury in connection with an investigation by the House unAmerican Activities Committee (HUAC), at which he was questioned about being a Soviet spy. Hiss served forty-four months in prison. Hiss maintained his innocence and fought his perjury conviction until his death in 1996 at age 92.

January 21

1977—Carter Pardons War Fugitives

U.S. President Jimmy Carter pardons nearly all of the country’s Vietnam War draft evaders, many of whom had emigrated to Canada. He had made the pardon pledge during his election campaign, and he fulfilled his promise the day after he took office.