When you come across a ’70s movie with bad acting, bad scripting, vaudevillian humor, nude women, and a foreign setting, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with the output of either American International Pictures or New World Pictures. Fly Me comes from the latter studio, and was directed by Cirio Santiago, one of the kings of Asian sleaze cinema. He directed more than one hundred features, including TNT Jackson, Ebony, Ivory & Jade, and The Muthers. With that kind of résumé you know you’re in for a wild ride.
Fly Me deals with three flight attendants played by cinematic obscurities Pat Anderson, Lyllah Torena, and the gorgeous Lenore Kasdorf, who get into various pickles in Hong Kong and Manila—and get various pickles into them. One stew is secretly working for a drug cartel and is kidnapped after failing to perform up to expectations, a second meets and falls for a guy who turns out to be a British secret agent, and the third mostly tries to ditch her mother and get laid.
We’d love to tell you the movie is good, but no such luck. It lurches back and forth from sexploitation to lowbrow comedy, and as usual with Cirio Santiago’s films, the action scenes are inept. We’ll admit to enjoying TNT Jackson, but based on the preponderance of evidence he appears to be a real hack as a director. He’s a Filipino legend, though, who helmed something like a hundred films, so he’ll certainly have opportunities to redeem himself as we continue our explorations. We’ll keep you posted. Fly Me premiered today in 1973.
We love being stewardesses. The pay isn’t great but you can’t beat the travel.
We love being stewardesses. The pay isn’t great but you can’t beat the travel.
Oh, Captain, I’ve always wanted to join the five-inch high club.
This chick is freaking the fuck out. Excuse me, sir. You’re one of the hosts, right? You might want to toss this one with the rest of the empties.
Oh no. A creepy foreigner. I heard they attack if you show fear, so just keep walking. Stay calm. Don’t run.
Screw that plan. Cork-soled wedge sandals, get me outta here!
I have an idea. Let’s go to your room and have screaming hot monkey sex, okay?
Oh! Mom! Hi!
Remove your grubby fingers from my daughter’s big fat ’70s bush this instant!
Incongruous crash-zoom of an actual bush!
Hey everyone, I’m looking for my missing girlf—
Er… did I say missing? I meant dead. And I miss her very much and would like a replacement.
I’ll take that one. Don’t bother wrapping her or anything. I’m gonna eat her right in the car.
Drop dead, creep!
I didn’t mean on top of me! Ugh, how rude!
That’s him! The head of the sexual slavery ring! Rip his balls off and stomp them into cracker spread!
I’ve seen things in my police career that were hard to watch, but this is the worst of all.
By the way, you okay? Wanna have sex again or do you need a few hours to recover from your trauma?
Well, girls, Manila sure was a hoot. I wonder what Mogadishu will be like?
