What you’re looking at above isn’t roadkill. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is not involved in this story. Yesterday, four men in the Lake Arrowhead region of California were arrested on charges of defrauding three insurance companies after they claimed their luxury cars were damaged by a bear—which was actually someone wearing the costume you see. We love stories like this. Remember the Minnesota bigfoot, and the Montana bigfoot, and the North Carolina bigfoot, and the South Carolina terror clown? It amuses us greatly that someone would dress up in a costume to achieve ultimately nothing. At least if you do it during Halloween you get candy. If it’s a really good costume and you’re at a halfway decent Halloween party it can even help you get laid. But insurance scams have a pretty low success rate. They do in film noir, at any rate, and in example after example after example after example of crime fiction.
One particular firm, presented with a damage claim on a $400,000 Rolls Royce Ghost, was immediately suspicious. The company analyzed video footage provided by the scammers and decided: guy in costume. We’re unsurprised. Even real bears can look fake under certain circumstances. Police raided the claimants’ apartment and found the disappointed looking creature above. All a foregone conclusion. Insurers by definition make money by not paying settlements, and deny coverage for the flimsiest of reasons. Even if the cars had been mauled by a real bear, we suspect the company would have found a way to not pay. “Claim denied: incident occurred due to owner carelessness, as it is known that bears love luxury cars due to their roominess and smooth rides.” Next time these con artists need extra cash we suggest they do what everyone else does: drive for Uber.
