WARDEN OF THE STATE

Whether you call her Ilsa, Greta, or Wanda, she's a Thorne in everyone's sides.


Above is a Japanese poster for Ilsa, the Wicked Warden. We’ve already shown you Japanese posters for what we assumed was the complete Ilsa trilogy of torturesploitation flicks starring Dyanne Thorne, but when we saw this one we got a little confused. This was originally released in West Germany in January 1977—before the third official Ilsa film. It was not originally titled Ilsa the Wicked Warden, but Greta – Haus ohne Männer, as well as Wanda, the Wicked Warden. But still, since it came out before Ilsa 3, we thought maybe it was part of the group. So is it an Ilsa movie or not? Only one way to find out.

*cut to ninety minutes later*

Well, it’s an Ilsa movie in spirit, but since Thorne plays a character named Greta, it isn’t canonical. An enterprising video distributor renamed it to sucker aficionados of the first two Ilsa flicks. We doubt those fans felt tricked—Greta is identical to the other efforts, but without the nazi backstory. It was made under the steady, sleazy hand of veteran smut director Jesús Franco, and plotwise Tania Busselier goes undercover into Thorne’s brutal Las Palomas mental institution/supermax prison in order to expose its corruption, but in risking her body and mind gets far more than she bargained for. And by more we mean whippings, various sexual invasions, and, probably, a sense of dismay about the direction of her film career.

The movie is really just an episodic collection of torture set pieces interspersed with sex scenes, and it’s absolutely awful. There’s no way to get around that fact. It’s ridiculously written and atrociously acted, which we sometimes don’t mind if a film has a certain spark, but this one is like a broken down horse with ticks and saddlesores. It’ll get you somewhere but it won’t be a pleasant ride. Thorne shows everything she’s got, but while her fuzzy nooks and crannies may be a draw for some, we cannot recommend a movie this bad, even for people who think they’re clever enough to make fun of it. Greta – Haus ohne Männer, aka Ilsa the Wicked Warden, aka Wanda, the Wicked Warden premiered in Japan today in 1977. If you’re curious, here are our entries on the actual Ilsa canon—one, two, three.
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1920—Terrorists Bomb Wall Street

At 12:01 p.m. a bomb loaded into a horse-drawn wagon explodes in front of the J.P.Morgan building in New York City. 38 people are killed and 400 injured. Italian anarchists are thought to be the perpetrators, but after years of investigation no one is ever brought to justice.

1959—Khrushchev Visits U.S.

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The Soviet probe Luna 2 becomes the first man-made object to reach the Moon when it crashes in Mare Serenitatis. The probe was designed to crash, but first it took readings in Earth’s Van Allen Radiation Belt, and also confirmed the existence of solar wind.

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