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Blondes may be only skin deep but their betrayals cut to the bone.

We checked out Louis Trimble way back and weren’t impressed, but every writer deserves a second chance. His 1951 novel Blondes Are Skin Deep tells the story of a Pacific Northwest private detective duo—Nick Mercer and Johnny Doane—who work for an organized crime boss as collectors. When Doane disappears in Portland along with 100K the boss sends Mercer down to find out what happened. Turns out Doane is alive and well, but in hiding, claiming he didn’t steal the money. Thus the two dicks team up to uncover the truth, and find there are femmes fatales right in the middle of it.

A pair of detectives-cum-fixers constitute a fertile concept for a novel but Trimble doesn’t produce the best result here. So that’s two misses from him. We did like the fact that the boss lives on the top floor of a hotel he owns, and the staff are mostly his henchmen à la John Wick and the Continental. But basically, Blondes Are Skin Deep never comes to fruition. Funny story: PI-1 asked, “What does blondes are skin deep even mean?” and we had the joy of trying to explain to her a title that almost means something, but really doesn’t, while she made her why-do-you-read-this-shit? face. It happens a lot.

Portland, Lion Books, Louis Trimble, Willard Downes, cover art, literature

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

December 13

1944—Velez Commits Suicide

Mexican actress Lupe Velez, who was considered one of the great beauties of her day, commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. In her note, Velez says she did it to avoid bringing shame on her unborn child by giving birth to him out of wedlock, but many Hollywood historians believe bipolar disorder was the actual cause. The event inspired a 1965 Andy Warhol film entitled Lupe.

December 13

1958—Gordo the Monkey Lost After Space Flight

After a fifteen minute flight into space on a Jupiter AM-13 rocket, a monkey named Gordo splashes down in the South Pacific but is lost after his capsule sinks. The incident sparks angry protests from the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but NASA says animals are needed for such tests.

December 12

1968—Tallulah Bankhead Dies

American actress, talk show host, and party girl Tallulah Bankhead, who was fond of turning cartwheels in a dress without underwear and once made an entrance to a party without a stitch of clothing on, dies in St. Luke’s Hospital in New York City of double pneumonia complicated by emphysema.

December 11

1962—Canada Has Last Execution

The last executions in Canada occur when Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin, both of whom are Americans who had been extradited north after committing separate murders in Canada, are hanged at Don Jail in Toronto. When Turpin is told that he and Lucas will probably be the last people hanged in Canada, he replies, â€œSome consolation.â€

December 11

1964—Guevara Speaks at U.N.

Ernesto “Che” Guevara, representing the nation of Cuba, speaks at the 19th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York City. His speech calls for wholesale changes in policies between rich nations and poor ones, as well as five demands of the United States, none of which are met.

December 11

2008—Legendary Pin-Up Bettie Page Dies

After suffering a heart attack several days before, erotic model Bettie Page, who in the 1950s became known as the Queen of Pin-ups, dies when she is removed from life support machinery. Thanks to the unique style she displayed in thousands of photos and film loops, Page is considered one of the most influential beauties who ever lived.

December 10

1935—Downtown Athletic Club Awards First Trophy

The Downtown Athletic Club in New York City awards its first trophy for athletic achievement to University of Chicago halfback Jay Berwanger. The prize is later renamed the Heisman Trophy, and becomes the most prestigious award in college athletics.