PRIMATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

Must be the tropical weather that brings out the beast in them.

Affair in Trinidad, which went into general release in the U.S. today in 1952, brought Gilda co-stars Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford together for another go round as star crossed lovers in a foreign land. Hayworth is a nightclub singer, and Ford is the brother of her dead husband, who’s first thought to be a suicide, then suspected to have been murdered. There’s no mystery who’s responsible—it’s the oily one percenter who wants Hayworth for himself. Ford wants this fella to hang from Trinidad’s highest coconut palm, but Hayworth stands in his way for reasons you’ll have to watch the movie to discover.

Overall, as an attempt to rekindle that ole Gilda magic, Affair in Trinidad fails, mainly because Ford is not as appealing as in the former movie. But the problem could lie with us—we don’t buy anger, jealousy, and brutal face slaps as aphrodisiacs. We know, we know—things were different in 1952. But puhleeeze—that different? Just because she was kind of nice to him, it means he owns her? We just can’t get behind slappy Glenn and his primitive behavior. Affair in Trinidad isn’t bad—it just isn’t good, exactly. But at least Hayworth works some singing and dancing magic. It isn’t as fun as watching her deliver a swift kick to the nutsack would have been, but at least she makes the best of her situation.

Wow, that’s one slappable babe. Appearing nightly? I better come back and see if I can slap her.

SLAP!

Slow motion replay. Slaaaaaaaap!

Christ, does my face hurt. You must really love me.

I can slap you too. Lemme slap you too. Look, my hand is ready to slap. I’ll slap so good you won’t believe how good I slap. I do the best slaps.

I just can’t get that slap out of my head. Focus, girl! Spying to do.

I usually slap, but you I’ll choke. Because I dig you too, in a different way.

A one, a two, a one, two, three, four: Though my face is swollen I’m so thrilled my man’s controllin’ in the moooooor-nin!

Every time he hurts me I just have to swirl my skirts because he waaaaarned me!

It ain’t a man’s fault he hits me! I shouldn’t… re-sist!

It’s just a man being manly! He can’t… de-sist!

Ladies let me warn you too! These guys… are… rude!

But hey, it’s the 1950s! There’s nothing… I can… do!*


*Please don’t send us any obtuse e-mails. We obviously abhor violence against women.

Anselmo Ballester helped set the artistic standard in the competitive world of Italian movie illustrators.

Anselmo Ballester is yet another virtuoso poster artist from Italy, where cinema promos were taken perhaps more seriously as art pieces than anyplace in the world. We’ve documented many of these Italian geniuses, including Mafé, Luigi Martinati, Sandro Symeoni, Mario de Berardinis, and others. Ballester, born in 1897, predated nearly all of his colleagues (only Martinati was born earlier) and enjoyed a fifty year career working for studios such as Cosmopolis, Titanus, Twentieth Century Fox, and RKO Radio Pictures. He also worked in commercial and political advertising. For the titles of the above works just check the keywords below. They’re in top-to-bottom order in Italian and English.

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1967—Summer of Love Begins

The Human Be-In takes place in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park with between 20,000 to 30,000 people in attendance, their purpose being to promote their ideals of personal empowerment, cultural and political decentralization, communal living, ecological preservation, and higher consciousness. The event is considered the beginning of the famed counterculture Summer of Love.

1968—Cash Performs at Folsom Prison

Johnny Cash performs live at Folsom State Prison in Folson, California, where he records a live album that includes a version of his 1955 hit “Folsom Prison Blues.” Cash had always been interested in performing at a prison, but was unable to until personnel changes at his record company brought in people who were amenable to the idea. The Folsom album was Cash’s biggest commercial success for years, reaching number 1 on the country music charts.

2004—Harold Shipman Found Hanged

British serial killer Harold Shipman is found dead in his prison cell, after hanging himself with a bedsheet. Shipman, a former doctor who preyed on his patients, was one of the most prolific serial killers in history, with two-hundred and eighteen murders positively attributed to him, and another two-hundred of which he is suspected.

1960—Nevil Shute Dies

English novelist Nevil Shute, who wrote the books A Town Like Alice and The Pied Piper, dies in Melbourne, Australia at age sixty-one. Seven of his novels were adapted to film, but his most famous was the cautionary post-nuclear war classic On the Beach.

1967—First Cryonics Patient Frozen

Dr. James Bedford, a University of California psychology professor, becomes the first person to be cryonically preserved with intent of future resuscitation. Bedford had kidney cancer that had metastasized to his lungs and was untreatable. His body was maintained for years by his family before being moved to Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Arizona.

1957—Jack Gilbert Graham Is Executed

Jack Gilbert Graham is executed in Colorado, U.S.A., for killing 44 people by planting a dynamite bomb in a suitcase that was subsequently loaded aboard United Airlines Flight 629. The flight took off from Denver and exploded in mid-air. Graham was executed by means of poison gas in the Colorado State Penitentiary, in Cañon City.

Any part of a woman's body can be an erogenous zone. You just need to have skills.
Uncredited 1961 cover art for Michel Morphy's novel La fille de Mignon, which was originally published in 1948.

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