Above is a piece of beautiful Japanese promo art for the West German sexploitation flick Mädchen beim Frauenarzt, aka Teenage Sex Report, part of an incredibly popular subgenre of films purporting to inform moviegoers about the sex practices of co-eds. Helmed mainly by Austrian director Ernst Hofbauer, the series of more than thirty films included thirteen entries in the famed Schulmädchen-Report franchise.
Mädchen beim Frauenarzt stars Monika Dahlberg, Christine Schuberth, Brigitte Harrer, Evelyne Traeger and numerous others, and what mostly happens is pretty frauen go to a gynecologist, strip and climb into the stirrups, then we learn in flashback what problems preceded their visits. The girls are presented as studies, complete with superimposed text reading things like “The Case of Ulrike (20),” but even with its medical pretensions Mädchen beim Frauenarzt is a garden-variety 1970s muff-fest.
We support muff-fests. We’re friends of muff-fests. But this is joyless stuff. And certainly, the cervix shots are a touch of clinical verisimilitude we could have done without. All things considered, the Japanese poster, with its dreamy light and cotton candy colors, is false advertising. Because if the movie were half that lighthearted we’d really have something here. But alas, no. Mädchen beim Frauenarzt opened—in more ways than one—in Japan today in 1972.