Yep, it’s rush week once again in America’s hallowed enclaves of higher learning. Millions of teen girls are beginning the long, arduous process of accumulating the crucial skills needed to serve them the rest of their lives. And the most important of those is, beyond a doubt, denying any recollection of events from the previous night. Just repeat: “Yes, I understand I vomited in your mouth then said I was a mama penguin and you were my baby—I’m just telling you if it happened after the third vodka Red Bull I don’t remember it.”
Oops—blurp—I think I missed the bucket.