We love it when a plan comes together. We told you we hoped to watch this movie, and luckily it premiered today in 1971, mere weeks after we featured co-star Dominique Badou and her bizarro butt stripe. What you’re seeing is a poster for the spaghetti western Anche per Django le carogne hanno un prezzo, known in English—amazingly—as Django’s Cut Price Corpses. But a unique and snazzy title does not a good movie make. Pardner, this is by far the worst western we’ve ever seen. It has to be a satire. It absolutely must. But as we’ve discussed before with satire, if it’s poorly made you often lose the ability to discern whether the filmmakers actually are just inept.
This one—and by the way we don’t actually think it’s a satire—is the sad work of Luigi Batzella, whose other movies include Achtung! The Desert Tigers and The Devil’s Wedding Night. So it turns out Django’s Cut Price Corpses isn’t such a unique title after all. The movie is about bounty hunter Jeff Cameron searching for the notorious Cortez Brothers, who recently stole gold from a Silver City bank and kidnapped a woman. Cameron rides into town and pre-orders some coffins, signaling his firm intent to kill, in a bit that is possibly—no definitely—stolen from Clint Eastwood. He makes an uneasy partnership with Gengher Gatti and John Desmont, who both want the Cortez Brothers for their own reasons, and off they go into the hills on their hunt.
However, Cameron may have secret motives. Oh, hell, why are we bothering to be coy? He’s really there to rescue his fiancée Dominique Badoue, who is the kidnappee from the bank job. This twist is revealed by the undercover cowboy in the final two minutes. Yes, that’s a spoiler, but we care about you, and now maybe you’ll watch a better movie, or read a good book, or drink a bottle of mezcal and hurl, or get an eyelid tattoo, or have someone smash your fingers flat with a meat tenderizer on a marble countertop. All are better options than Luigi’s cut price western. How bad are we talking? In the wide shots we kept expecting to see cars passing and—bingo!— at moment 36:34 in a stagecoach scene, there it was. No horses were harmed in the making of Anche per Django le carogne hanno un prezzo, but numerous careers should have ended up in the glue factory.