BARE SKIN RUG

We’ve always preferred women who keep a little fur between their legs.

Because the end is near as regards the Goodtime Weekly Calendar (the last pages will come up in February) we’ve been looking high and low for another weekly calendar to post. We found only one. It was on Amazon, it was the calendar we already have, and it was priced at $75. Even though we scored ours for three bucks from the Denver Book Fair last time we were in the U.S., we probably shouldn’t have been surprised someone was trying to sell it for so much. Nearly every Goodtime Weekly photo we’ve posted, including shots of Brigitte Bardot and Jayne Mansfield, as well as work from photographers like Russ Meyer and Ron Vogel, have been images that have never appeared online before. The same is true of this week’s effort from Tom Kelley, who also shot the most famous Marilyn Monroe photo of all time. His model, whose identity is unknown to us, is rather provocatively posed. In fact the Pulp Intl. girlfriends said it was the most sexual pose of any of our calendar shots. She does look a bit as if she’s sitting on a Sybian. Maybe that’s why she has such a satisfied expression on her face.

Dec 1: “A woman is the only being that can skin a wolf and get a mink.”—Sam Cowling

Dec 2: “People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.”—Freddie Flintstone.

Dec 3: “She isn’t really stupid, but the last time she went to a mind reader she didn’t have to pay.”—Jerry Lester

Dec 4: “A woman worried so much about growing old that she turned blonde overnight.”—Earl Wilson

Dec 5: “If a woman doesn’t get the one she wants to marry, heaven help the one she gets.”—Rose Franzblau

Dec 6: “When a gal marries a man to mend his ways, she usually finds out he isn’t worth a darn.”—John Doremus.

Dec 7: Girls who try to be walking encyclopedias may notice that reference books are never taken out.

Exactly what type of bait did you use to land this one?

Time will tend to fade printed matter. While that hasn’t been a problem with other pages of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, we seem to recall that we found it with this particular page facing up, which means a few subtleties of the image have been lost to forty-nine years of light, dust, and humidity. We aren’t sure exactly what the model is perched upon here. A piece of modern art? Playground equipment? The image is by Burton McNeely, who is semi-famous these days as a photographer of fish. Sounds like a real downgrade in terms of subject matter, but hey, whatever works. No matter what fish photography pays, we suspect he fondly remembers his early days photographing a completely different and more beautiful type of creature. This week’s quotations, which we have below, continue to dwell on marriage. Okay, Goodtime guys, we get it—you think it sucks. After four straight weeks, we’ve gotten the message. Can we move on now? 

June 23: In the wedding “We” comes before “I.”
 
June 24: “The right man can change a cute little dish into a cute little dishwasher.”—Earl Wilson
 
June 25: The ones that can separate the men from the boys are women.
 
June 26: Once you carry the bride over the threshold, she’ll put her foot down.
 
June 27: “I run my house like a ship. I’m the captain. It’s just my luck to have married an admiral.”—George Gobel
 
June 28: Marriage vows might be a trifle more accurate if changed to read, “Until DEBT do us part.”

June 29: It always pleases a married woman to discover that another man wishes she were not.

Update: Apparently, the calendar girl is sitting on the end of a boat. How could we not have seen that? It’s like one of those negative space drawings where you look and go, “It’s two faces in profile. No, it’s a vase. No, really, it’s two faces in profile.” Well, we defnitely see now. It’s a boat. Probably would have helped if we’d looked less at the naked girl. Thanks for spotting that D.A.


We’re back to famed photographer Peter Gowland in this week’s installment of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, as he offers up an unknown model in a demure pose. The sayings for this last bit of May include one we can’t make sense of at all (what exactly does it mean to be Dutch below the waist?), and the calendar’s editors also dig deep into history for a quote from Philippe Paul de Ségur, who was a general and historian. Neither of those pursuits makes him an authority on women, but he was also French, and if you ask any Frenchman, that does make him an authority on women. See our other calendar pages here.
 
May 26: “Too many diplomats sit down to iron things out but only succeed in mangling them.”—Wally Phillips

May 27: Sign at a night club: Good clean entertainment every night except Monday.

May 28: An attractive woman: English to the neck, French to the waist, Dutch below.

May 29: “Men say of women what pleases them; women do with men what pleases them.”—de Segur

May 30: “A woman’s piece of mind often destroys a man’s piece of mind.”—Mae Maloo

May 31: “All she wants is a roof over her head and the right to raise it once in a while.”—Arnold Glasgow

June 1: “Oh, what is so bare as a dame in June?”—Earl Wilson

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1933—Franklin Roosevelt Survives Assassination Attempt

In Miami, Florida, Giuseppe Zangara attempts to shoot President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, but is restrained by a crowd and, in the course of firing five wild shots, hits five people, including Chicago, Illinois Mayor Anton J. Cermak, who dies of his wounds three weeks later. Zangara is quickly tried and sentenced to eighty years in jail for attempted murder, but is later convicted of murder when Cermak dies. Zangara is sentenced to death and executed in Florida’s electric chair.

1929—Seven Men Shot Dead in Chicago

Seven people, six of them gangster rivals of Al Capone’s South Side gang, are machine gunned to death in Chicago, Illinois, in an event that would become known as the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Because two of the shooters were dressed as police officers, it was initially thought that police might have been responsible, but an investigation soon proved the killings were gang related. The slaughter exceeded anything yet seen in the United States at that time.

1935—Jury Finds Hauptmann Guilty

A jury in Flemington, New Jersey finds Bruno Hauptmann guilty of the 1932 kidnapping and murder of the Lindbergh baby, the son of Charles Lindbergh. Hauptmann is sentenced to death and executed in 1936. For decades, his widow Anna, fights to have his named cleared, claiming that Hauptmann did not commit the crime, and was instead a victim of prosecutorial misconduct, but her claims are ultimately dismissed in 1984 after the U.S. Supreme Court refuses to address the case.

1961—Soviets Launch Venus Probe

The U.S.S.R. launches the spacecraft Venera 1, equipped with scientific instruments to measure solar wind, micrometeorites, and cosmic radiation, towards planet Venus. The craft is the first modern planetary probe. Among its many achievements, it confirms the presence of solar wind in deep space, but overheats due to the failure of a sensor before its Venus mission is completed.

1994—Thieves Steal Munch Masterpiece

In Oslo, Norway, a pair of art thieves steal one of the world’s best-known paintings, Edvard Munch’s “The Scream,” from a gallery in the Norwegian capital. The two men take less than a minute to climb a ladder, smash through a window of the National Art Museum, and remove the painting from the wall with wire cutters. After a ransom demand the museum refuses to pay, police manage to locate the painting in May, and the two thieves, as well as two accomplices, are arrested.

Cover art by Roswell Keller for the 1948 Pocket Books edition of Ramona Stewart's Desert Town.
Rare Argentinian cover art for The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells.

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