Vintage Pulp

November 18 2024

SPACE RACE

They may look like us but they have an entirely different set of priorities.

In another example of a low budget throwaway movie having brilliant promo art, above is a poster for the Mexican sci-fi flick El planeta de las mujeres invasoras, aka Planet of the Female Invaders, which premiered today in 1966 amidst a wave of similar films with smoking hot female aliens. The genius who created this piece of art is not known. We mean we don’t know. Someone else might. If you’re that special someone, clue us in, would you? We’d like to identify this person and seek out more of their work.

Plotwise, you get what’s advertised. Creatures from the planet Sibila, led by Lorena Velázquez, land their flying saucer in a carnival, disguise it as a ride called Viaje a la Luna, and make off with any unfortunates who wander aboard. This is an extremely random way to select humans, which is why they end up with three gangsters in their midst. This trio has followed someone onto the ship, a boxer they plan to lay low for failing to take a dive in the ring.

Also aboard are Fat Man and Little Boy—not the bombs, but rather cinematic stereotypes meant to inject the film with comic relief and pathetic innocence, respectively. The gangsters are funny too, actually. They keep hitting their noses on doors. This entire group and a couple of randoms are blasted into space while the rubes in the carnival gawp in astonishment. Terror awaits the abductees, as Velázquez and company plan to steal their lungs. Getting good lungs from Mexico is like getting good livers from the Czech Republic. You can make a more informed choice.

But super-advanced, hyper-intelligent beings always overlook flaws in their plans. In addition to not checking regional air quality, Velázquez didn’t confirm that her twin sister (also Velázquez ) was down with the whole cruel program. If the Earthlings are to be saved, it’ll be with help from the inside. Also needing help from the inside was the production, writing, and acting team, but alas, none was forthcoming, and the result was a truly terrible movie. But it’s one you can make funny if you have the improvisational skills. Invite your friends and see if you’re as clever as you think.

The idea of disguising our ship is good in principle, but I seriously doubt we can make it look unsafe enough to be a ride in a Mexican carnival.

Hi, beautiful. What’s your name?

*Zzzzzt!* You’ll never know, lung donor!

Look, here comes an entire group of humans, including those noisy ones I love zapping. But we already have what we need. We can ignore them.

*Zzzzzt!* I said ignore them! Why’d you zap her?

I dunno. I’m starting to enjoy pointless violence. These Earthlings must be rubbing off on me.

Mexico, El planeta de las mujeres invasoras, Planet of the Female Invaders, Lorena Velázquez, Elizabeth Campbell, Maura Monti, poster art, cinema, sci-fi, movie review

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

December 7

1941—Japanese Attack Pearl Harbor

The Imperial Japanese Navy sends aircraft to attack the U.S. Pacific Fleet and its defending air forces at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. While the U.S. lost battleships and other vessels, its aircraft carriers were not at Pearl Harbor and survived intact, robbing the Japanese of the total destruction of the Pacific Fleet they had hoped to achieve.

December 6

1989—Anti-Feminist Gunman Kills 14

In Montreal, Canada, at the École Polytechnique, a gunman shoots twenty-eight young women with a semi-automatic rifle, killing fourteen. The gunman claimed to be fighting feminism, which he believed had ruined his life. After the killings he turns the gun on himself and commits suicide.

December 5

1933—Prohibition Ends in United States

Utah becomes the 36th U.S. state to ratify the 21st Amendment to the United States Constitution, thus establishing the required 75% of states needed to overturn the 18th Amendment which had made the sale of alcohol illegal. But the criminal gangs that had gained power during Prohibition are now firmly established, and maintain an influence that continues unabated for decades.

December 5

1945—Flight 19 Vanishes without a Trace

During an overwater navigation training flight from Fort Lauderdale, five U.S. Navy TBM Avenger torpedo-bombers lose radio contact with their base and vanish. The disappearance takes place in what is popularly known as the Bermuda Triangle.

December 4

1918—Wilson Goes to Europe

U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sails to Europe for the World War I peace talks in Versailles, France, becoming the first U.S. president to travel to Europe while in office.

December 4

1921—Arbuckle Manslaughter Trial Ends

In the U.S., a manslaughter trial against actor/director Roscoe ‘Fatty’ Arbuckle ends with the jury deadlocked as to whether he had killed aspiring actress Virginia Rappe during rape and sodomy. Arbuckle was finally cleared of all wrongdoing after two more trials, but the scandal ruined his career and personal life.

WALKING AFTER MIDNIGHT

Cover art by the great Sandro Symeoni for Peter Cheyney's mystery He Walked in her Sleep, from Ace Books in 1949.

PARIS BLEUS

The mysterious artist who signed his or her work as F. Harf produced this beautiful cover in 1956 for the French publisher S.E.P.I.A.

RAISE EM UP

Aslan art was borrowed for many covers by Dutch publisher Uitgeverij A.B.C. for its Collection Vamp. The piece used on Mike Splane's Nachtkatje is a good example.