SCORCHY HEAT

Between the hair and the fur it's no wonder she's so hot.

This is pure cheese but we couldn’t resist. A while back we talked about Connie Stevens’ schlock copper flick Scorchy and above you see the photo Hickmar Productions used to make the movie’s promo poster. This is an astonishing shot in so many ways—the pose, the coat that at least fifteen animals were skinned for, the platinum hairdo that possibly several hairdressers were also skinned for, the dry ice fog, the nails, and especially that elegantly extended foot. It’s like she’s using her toe to say, “See this spot? This is where you lesser mortals will grovel for my favors.” She should be careful, though. With hair like that she might be mistaken for another exotic animal and skinned too.

Connie Stevens goes up against international drug dealers without a single hair slipping out of place.

This one we watched entirely because of the promo art. In Scorchy Connie Stevens stars as a Seattle undercover cop assigned to bust a Rome-based drug ring. Her name isn’t Scorchy—it’s actually Jackie Parker, and this Seattleite is sort of tough-cute, a flirt and an eyelash batter, someone prone to making sexual quips and comical faces. None of this seems to us as though it would be conducive to convincing international drug dealers that she’s a charter pilot willing to fly shady cargoes, but whatever—it’s in the script, so they buy it. Stevens maneuvers her way into flying a load of heroin and, theoretically, this will be the basis of a big drug bust. Does it work out that way? We aren’t saying.

Scorchy came from low budget studios Hickmar Productions and American International, but they’re serious with this effort, aiming for French Connection grit combined with a bit of b-movie cheese. But lofty aspirations aside, you know going into any American International movie that it’s very likely to be bad, even if it’s one they bought from another production company, as was the case here. And Scorchy delivers the badness in spades—the fight scenes and shootouts are lame, the acting is merely adequate, and the plot doesn’t offer much in the way of twists and turns. What does offer some twists and turns is the centerpiece car chase. It’s almost good enough to redeem the movie, and as a bonus it also shows a lot of Seattle scenery.

Scorchy also may be worth watching for another reason—the decors. Check the screenshots below. The set designers really went to town. Stevens’ living room is especially noteworthy, with its flowered sofa, driftwood art, and random acoustic guitar leaning against the wall just in case she wants to get groovy. We’ll throw Stevens herself in there as another of the film’s assets. She looks excellent at thirty-eight, even with silver candyfloss hair and mascara that looks like it was applied with a hot glue gun. Like the movie, she’s a bit ridiculous, but she’s fun to watch as she makes the bad guys regret ever coming to the Emerald City. Scorchy premiered in the U.S. today in 1976.

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1959—Dark Side of Moon Revealed

The Soviet space probe Luna 3 transmits the first photographs of the far side of the moon. The photos generate great interest, and scientists are surprised to see mountainous terrain, very different from the near side, and only two seas, which the Soviets name Mare Moscovrae (Sea of Moscow) and Mare Desiderii (Sea of Desire).

1966—LSD Declared Illegal in U.S.

LSD, which was originally synthesized by a Swiss doctor and was later secretly used by the CIA on military personnel, prostitutes, the mentally ill, and members of the general public in a project code named MKULTRA, is designated a controlled substance in the United States.

1945—Hollywood Black Friday

A six month strike by Hollywood set decorators becomes a riot at the gates of Warner Brothers Studios when strikers and replacement workers clash. The event helps bring about the passage of the Taft-Hartley Act, which, among other things, prohibits unions from contributing to political campaigns and requires union leaders to affirm they are not supporters of the Communist Party.

1957—Sputnik Circles Earth

The Soviet Union launches the satellite Sputnik I, which becomes the first artificial object to orbit the Earth. It orbits for two months and provides valuable information about the density of the upper atmosphere. It also panics the United States into a space race that eventually culminates in the U.S. moon landing.

1970—Janis Joplin Overdoses

American blues singer Janis Joplin is found dead on the floor of her motel room in Los Angeles. The cause of death is determined to be an overdose of heroin, possibly combined with the effects of alcohol.

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