In this photo there’s something you used to see up until maybe the early 1980s. A lot of people feel great nostalgia for it, though it’s large, somewhat unwieldy, and definitely out of fashion now. We’re talking of course about the classic bakelite telephone, here being used by the lovely Italian actress Leonora Fani to call an ambulance for her overwhelmed date, who hit the floor seconds after her clothes did. At least that’s the way we like to see it. You probably haven’t heard of Fani, but she was in about twenty-five movies, including the unforgettable Dog Lay Afternoon. No, that’s not a typo. Lay, not Day. The one you’re thinking of starred Al Pacino. The one Fani was in starred a doberman and was made in Italy as Bestialità. We could tell you more, but if we did you might end up on the floor too. We shared this photo for one reason. After the 170-page frustration that was The Nude Who Never we figured we’d present a nude who always. Or at least usually.
Hi, I need an ambulance immediately. There's a man here whose heart has stopped.