HORNY HOLIDAYS

What did Santa give you for Christmas?

We have many more Japanese movie posters than films associated with them we can locate to watch. Today we’re sharing three promos for films we haven’t seen and probably never will. Why these, of all those we have? Because we think they have holiday colors, and one—definitely holiday related—even has phallus-nosed Santas on it, as you see just above and below. The first is for 1972’s Chikan 365, starring Michiyo Mako, the second is for 1965’s Hajimete no yoru, starring Michiko Shirakawa and Keiko Tachibana, and the third is for 1970’s Nyotai chôkyôshi, with Yuka Utsumi. None of these had western releases, so there are no English titles for them, but they’d translate as something like “molester 365,” “first night,” and “female fitness teacher.” None are from kinky Nikkatsu Studios, surprisingly. They’re very interesting, don’t you think? We’ll try to do more of this in the future.

Tanaka and company roll the dice and all kinds of craps happen.
This poster was made to promote the samurai actioner Sengoku rokku hayate no onnatachi, known in English internationally as The Naked Seven, starring the wonderful Mari Tanaka, along with Michiyo Mako, Yuri Yamashina, and others. Tanaka plays Eno, leader of a gang of seven female bandits roaming the countryside of Edo era Japan ambushing and stealing to survive. Tanaka hooks up with a samurai and helps him rob 120 rifles from a powerful warlord, at which point she and her bandit cohort are blamed. Realizing they’re in the very deepest shit, they head for the hills with the warlord’s bad men—one of whom is indescribably worse than the rest—in hot pursuit. Tanaka has a sanctuary in mind, but ultimately she and her gang of deadlies may have to make a final stand with those rifles.

We assumed The Naked Seven was a samurai actioner, and it is, sort of, but genetically it’s really a roman porno. The movie’s alternate English title (which we didn’t know until afterward) gives it away: Civil War Rock: Hurricane Girls! The Japanese word “sengoku,” from the film’s official title, refers to the Sengoku Era in Japan, a time of violent upheaval also known as the Warring States Period, so the civil war reference in the alternate English title makes sense. Plus director Yasuharu Hasebe would make a string of roman porno flicks in the next several years, including Sukeban Deka: Dirty Mary and Maruhi honeymoon: Boko ressha, which, terrifyingly, is aka Secret Honeymoon: Rape Train. Even without knowing all that, the roman porno thought process behind The Naked Seven became clear as the pursuit unfolded in occasionally shocking fashion.

We thought we’d jettisoned roman pornos after the last effort we watched, but that Naked Seven title fooled us. It’s obviously a play on The Magnificent Seven—but naked!—and yup, unclothed debauchery fit for a Game of Thrones episode abounds. There’s also a sequence in which Tanaka’s entire gang is waylaid bathing in a stream and have to flee bare-assed into the woods. They escape, though it’s logistically unlikely. Similarly, roman porno chased us and caught us unawares, metaphorically naked in a streaming. Escape from our waylaying was as logistically easy as pressing stop, but we forged ahead until the end, and we did it for you. Here’s the upshot. The period setting helps set the movie apart, so we consider it a passable effort from Nikkatsu Studios. Thankfully, it’s not as shocking as some roman pornos, but proceed carefully—there are still scary things in the woods. Sengoku rokku hayate no onnatachi premiered in Japan today in 1972.

Apologies for the omission, Miss Michiyo.

Years ago we shared a poster for a Michiyo Mako roman porno flick and called her a “little known” actress. Well, live and learn. She wasn’t little known—we knew little about Japanese film, is what the problem was. Now we know more, which is a benefit of maintaining this website, and we can report that Mako appeared in thirty movies between 1967 and 1976. Today we have promo posters for three of those to make up for giving her short shrift before. Top to bottom: Yorokobi no sekkusu, aka Sex of Joy or Nymph of DelightOnna zakari: Mishitsu no yorokobi, aka Pleasure in the Secret Room, and one movie for which had no Western release, and for which we didn’t find a phonetic Japanese title. In English, its characters would read something like “virgin kidnapping magic”. More Mako posters later.

Guess who’s “coming” for dinner?

Here’s a lovely poster from the early 1970s for a film starring little known pinku actress Michiyo Mako. As far as we know this film never had a Western release, so without an official English title we have to make one up. We see symbols for “characteristic,” “banquet,” “human,” and “wife.” The fifth figure, in the middle, eluded us for what seemed like forever until we figured out it was a 5. So we’ll title this film “Banquet for Five Wives.” Or maybe we should title it “Banquet of Five Wives.” It’s always important to distinguish who’s doing the cooking and who’s doing the eating.

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1923—Yankee Stadium Opens

In New York City, Yankee Stadium, home of Major League Baseball’s New York Yankees, opens with the Yankees beating their eternal rivals the Boston Red Sox 4 to 1. The stadium, which is nicknamed The House that Ruth Built, sees the Yankees become the most successful franchise in baseball history. It is eventually replaced by a new Yankee Stadium and closes in September 2008.

1961—Bay of Pigs Invasion Is Launched

A group of CIA financed and trained Cuban refugees lands at the Bay of Pigs in southern Cuba with the aim of ousting Fidel Castro. However, the invasion fails badly and the result is embarrassment for U.S. president John F. Kennedy and a major boost in popularity for Fidel Castro, and also has the effect of pushing him toward the Soviet Union for protection.

1943—First LSD Trip Takes Place

Swiss scientist Albert Hofmann, while working at Sandoz Laboratories in Basel, accidentally absorbs lysergic acid diethylamide, better known as LSD, and thus discovers its psychedelic properties. He had first synthesized the substance five years earlier but hadn’t been aware of its effects. He goes on to write scores of articles and books about his creation.

1912—The Titanic Sinks

Two and a half hours after striking an iceberg in the North Atlantic Ocean on its maiden voyage, the British passenger liner RMS Titanic sinks, dragging 1,517 people to their deaths. The number of dead amount to more than fifty percent of the passengers, due mainly to the fact the liner was not equipped with enough lifeboats.

1947—Robinson Breaks Color Line

African-American baseball player Jackie Robinson officially breaks Major League Baseball’s color line when he debuts for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Several dark skinned men had played professional baseball around the beginning of the twentieth century, but Robinson was the first to overcome the official segregation policy called—ironically, in retrospect—the “gentleman’s agreement.”

Edições de Ouro and Editora Tecnoprint published U.S. crime novels for the Brazilian market, with excellent reworked cover art to appeal to local sensibilities. We have a small collection worth seeing.
Walter Popp cover art for Richard Powell's 1954 crime novel Say It with Bullets.
There have been some serious injuries on pulp covers. This one is probably the most severe—at least in our imagination. It was painted for Stanley Morton's 1952 novel Yankee Trader.

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