TRIPLE DARING

This is what it looks like when three wishes come true.

Owing to the delicate nature of their jobs, glamour photographers are supposed to be completely professional at all times, but you have to think that at some point during this shoot, Ron Vogel broke down and cried tears of joy. Just saying. This week’s quips include a couple of unlikely entries from sixteenth century noblewoman Diane de Portiers and newsman Walter Winchell, and you can read those below and visit our entire collection of Goodtime Weekly Calendar pages, including others from Vogel, here.

May 19: “A speech is like a bad tooth; the longer it takes to draw out, the more it hurts.”—W.E. Suter

May 20: “Polygamy will never work in America. Can you imagine six wives in a kitchenette?—Oscar Cartier

May 21: “Cough: Something you can’t help, but everybody else does on purpose to torment you.”—Ogden Nash

May 22: “The years a woman subtracts from her age are not lost; they’re added to the ages of other women.”—Diane de Poitiers

May 23: “Signs at a bookstore: We don’t mind your reading these books, but we wish you’d do it at home.”—Walter Winchell

May 24: “I do push-backs, not push-ups. I push back the dinner table before it’s too late.”—Marjorie Lord

May 25: “Plenty of sex won’t make you rich; it’s the lack of it makes you poor.”—He-who Who-he

Goodtime Weekly Calendar, Ron Vogel, Ogden Nash, Oscar Cartier, Diane de Portiers, Walter Winchell, Marjorie Lord, nudity

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

April 30

1927—First Prints Are Left at Grauman's

Hollywood power couple Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford, who co-founded the movie studio United Artists with Charlie Chaplin and D.W. Griffith, become the first celebrities to leave their impressions in concrete at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, located along the stretch where the historic Hollywood Walk of Fame would later be established.

April 29

1945—Hitler Marries Braun

During the last days of the Third Reich, as Russia’s Red Army closes in from the east, Adolf Hitler marries his long-time partner Eva Braun in a Berlin bunker during a brief civil ceremony witnessed by Joseph Goebbels and Martin Bormann. Both Hitler and Braun commit suicide the next day, and their corpses are burned in the Reich Chancellery garden.

April 29

1967—Ali Is Stripped of His Title

After refusing induction into the United States Army the day before due to religious reasons, Muhammad Ali is stripped of his heavyweight boxing title. He is found guilty of a felony in refusing to be drafted for service in Vietnam, but he does not serve prison time, and on June 28, 1971, the U.S. Supreme Court reverses his conviction. His stand against the war had made him a hated figure in mainstream America, but in the black community and the rest of the world he had become an icon.

April 28

1947—Heyerdahl Embarks on Kon-Tiki

Norwegian ethnographer and adventurer Thor Heyerdahl and his five man crew set out from Peru on a giant balsa wood raft called the Kon-Tiki in order to prove that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia. After a 101 day, 4,300 mile (8,000 km) journey, Kon-Tiki smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands on August 7, 1947, thus demonstrating that it is possible for a primitive craft to survive a Pacific crossing.

April 28

1989—Soviets Acknowledge Chernobyl Accident

After two days of rumors and denials the Soviet Union admits there was an accident at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine. Reactor number four had suffered a meltdown, sending a plume of radioactive fallout into the atmosphere and over an extensive geographical area. Today the abandoned radioactive area surrounding Chernobyl is rife with local wildlife and has been converted into a wildlife sanctuary, one of the largest in Europe.

April 27

1945—Mussolini Is Arrested

Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, his mistress Clara Petacci, and fifteen supporters are arrested by Italian partisans in Dongo, Italy while attempting to escape the region in the wake of the collapse of Mussolini’s fascist government. The next day, Mussolini and his mistress are both executed, along with most of the members of their group. Their bodies are then trucked to Milan where they are hung upside down on meathooks from the roof of a gas station, then spat upon and stoned until they are unrecognizable.