Vintage Pulp

July 23 2023

AFTER A FASHION MODEL

Hopefully there's a direct correlation between runway experience and runaway capability.

Master illustrator John Solie made this promo poster for the low budget exploitation flick Cover Girl Models, and it’s another example of his incomparable work. The movie, on the other hand, is very comparable—it’s similar to 1973’s Fly Me, but with models instead of flight attendants. Cirio Santiago, a legend in the exploitation field, directed both movies, and the plots develop in identical fashion, as a trio of carefree women travel to Asia for work and accidentally become embroiled in a criminal plot. In the case of Cover Girl Models, spies want to secretly transport microfilm, so they arrange to have it sewn into one of the model’s dresses. But when the seam rips and the microfilm disappears, bad men come after her.

The three models are played by Pat Anderson, Lindsay Bloom, and Tara Strohmeier, with John Kramer as their photographer and Mary Woronov as their agent. You’ll also see a few familiar faces from other made-in-Asia grindhouse productions, such as Vic Diaz and Tony Ferrer. None of this group are extremely talented, however the point is for the lead actresses to look beautiful, and they do that well, especially Anderson. We can’t call the movie good. Nobody could and be serious. But like many exploitation efforts it’s funny in parts. Unintentionally, we mean. Therefore, you know the drill here—watch it with friends and booze, and it might turn out to be one of the more enjoyable nights you’ve had in a while. Cover Girl Models premiered today in 1975.

Hong Kong, New World Pictures, Cover Girl Models, Pat Anderson, Lindsay Bloom, Tara Strohmeier, John Kramer, Mary Woronov, Vic Diaz, Tony Ferrer, John Solie, sexploitation, poster art, cinema, movie review

Vintage Pulp

November 28 2020

LAYOVER IN HELL

The skies may be friendly, but the ground is an entirely different story.

When you come across a ’70s movie with bad acting, bad scripting, vaudevillian humor, nude women, and a foreign setting, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with the output of either American International Pictures or New World Pictures. Fly Me comes from the latter studio, and was directed by Cirio Santiago, one of the kings of Asian sleaze cinema. He directed more than one hundred features, including TNT Jackson, Ebony, Ivory & Jade, and The Muthers. With that kind of résumé you know you’re in for a wild ride.

Fly Me deals with three flight attendants played by cinematic obscurities Pat Anderson, Lyllah Torena, and the gorgeous Lenore Kasdorf, who get into various pickles in Hong Kong and Manila—and get various pickles into them. One stew is secretly working for a drug cartel and is kidnapped after failing to perform up to expectations, a second meets and falls for a guy who turns out to be a British secret agent, and the third mostly tries to ditch her mother and get laid.

We’d love to tell you the movie is good, but no such luck. It lurches back and forth from sexploitation to lowbrow comedy, and as usual with Cirio Santiago’s films, the action scenes are inept. We’ll admit to enjoying TNT Jackson, but based on the preponderance of evidence he appears to be a real hack as a director. He’s a Filipino legend, though, who helmed something like a hundred films, so he’ll certainly have opportunities to redeem himself as we continue our explorations. We’ll keep you posted. Fly Me premiered today in 1973.

We love being stewardesses. The pay isn’t great but you can’t beat the travel.

Oh, Captain, I’ve always wanted to join the five-inch high club.

This chick is freaking the fuck out. Excuse me, sir. You’re one of the hosts, right? You might want to toss this one with the rest of the empties.

Oh no. A creepy foreigner. I heard they attack if you show fear, so just keep walking. Stay calm. Don’t run.

Screw that plan. Cork-soled wedge sandals, get me outta here!

I have an idea. Let’s go to your room and have screaming hot monkey sex, okay?

Oh! Mom! Hi!

Remove your grubby fingers from my daughter’s big fat ’70s bush this instant!

Incongruous crash-zoom of an actual bush!

Hey everyone, I’m looking for my missing girlf—

Er… did I say missing? I meant dead. And I miss her very much and would like a replacement.

I’ll take that one. Don’t bother wrapping her or anything. I’m gonna eat her right in the car.

Drop dead, creep!

I didn’t mean on top of me! Ugh, how rude!

That’s him! The head of the sexual slavery ring! Rip his balls off and stomp them into cracker spread!

I’ve seen things in my police career that were hard to watch, but this is the worst of all.

By the way, you okay? Wanna have sex again or do you need a few hours to recover from your trauma?

Well, girls, Manila sure was a hoot. I wonder what Mogadishu will be like?

Philippines, Manila, Hong Kong, New World Pictures, Fly Me, Pat Anderson, Lenore Kasdorf, Lyllah Torena, Cirio Santiago, poster art, cinema, sexploitation, movie review

Vintage Pulp

January 17 2017

ACTION JACKSON

Jeanne Bell karate chops her way across Hong Kong.

TNT Jackson, for which you see the U.S. promo poster painted by John Solie above, is a mid-budget blaxploitation flick shot in the Philippines and Hong Kong, built around clumsy martial arts, a flimsy plot, and shoddy acting. But it has Jeanne Bell. Playboy magazine had made Bell a centerfold in 1969. From there she launched a movie career, with TNT Jackson coming ninth in her filmography.

She plays Diana “TNT” Jackson, who learns that her brother was killed by Hong Kong drug dealers and seeks payback. While the plot is nothing special, Bell certainly is. She was twenty-five and wore a bouffant hair-do when she first appeared in Playboy; in TNT she was thirty and had blossomed into an unforgettable beauty with a frosted afro, kicking and chopping her way across the movie screen.

All the fight scenes are hilarious, with their cut-rate choreography and claw-handed posing, but they’re fun to watch, especially the one in which she kicks the shit out of a bunch of guys while wearing only panties. That bit seems to us a clear homage to Reiko Ike’s totally nude fight in 1973’s Sex & Fury, another movie that surpasses its limitations by piling on style and attitude. Is TNT Jackson actually good? No—but we bet it’ll make you smile. It premiered in the U.S. today in 1974.

Philippines, Hong Kong, New World Pictures, TNT Jackson, Playboy, Jean Bell, Jeanne Bell, Jeannie Bell, Pat Anderson, Stan Shaw, Cirio Santiago, John Solie, poster art, cinema, blaxploitation, movie review

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

October 12

1978—Sid Vicious Arrested for Murder

Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious is arrested on suspicion of murder after the body of his girlfriend Nancy Spungen is found in their room at New York City’s Chelsea Hotel. Vicious and Spungen had a famously stormy relationship, but Vicious proclaims he is innocent. He is released on bail and dies of a heroin overdose before a trial takes place.

October 12

1979—Adams Publishes First Hitchhiker's Book

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the first of five books in a series, is published by Douglas Adams. The novels follow on the heels of the tremendously successful British television series of the same name.

October 11

1976—China Coup Thwarted

The new head of the Chinese Communist Party, Hua Goufeng, snuffs out a coup led by Chairman Mao’s widow Jiang Qing and three other party members. They become known as the Gang of Four, and are tried, found guilty of treason, and receive death sentences that are later commuted to lengthy prison terms.

October 11

1987—Loch Ness Expedition Ends

A sonar exploration of Scotland’s Loch Ness, called Operation Deepscan, ends after a week without finding evidence that the legendary Loch Ness Monster exists. While the flotilla of boats had picked up three sonar contacts indicating something large in the waters, these are considered to be detections of salmon schools or possibly seals.

October 10

1971—London Bridge Goes Up

After being sold, dismantled and moved to the United States, London Bridge reopens in the resort town of Lake Havasu City, Arizona.

October 10

1975—Burton and Taylor Marry Again

British actor Richard Burton and American screen star Elizabeth Taylor secretly remarry sixteen months after their divorce, then jet away to a second honeymoon in Chobe Game Park in Botswana.

October 9

1967—Che Executed in Bolivia

A day after being captured, Marxist revolutionary Ernesto “Che” Guevara is executed in Bolivia. In an attempt to make it appear as though he had been killed resisting Bolivian troops, the executioner shoots Guevara with a machine gun, wounding him nine times in the legs, arm, shoulder, throat, and chest.