DOLEMITE OR DOLEMITE NOT

Rudy Ray Moore explodes onto the film scene and people can't believe their eyes.


We said a while back after watching the blaxploitation flick The Human Tornado that we’d check out its progenitor Dolemite, and though it’s taken years and a quarantine, we’ve finally arrived where we said we would. The premise of Dolemite is simply that the titular character is released from prison in order to prove his innocence of the charges that landed him inside for, so far, two years of a twenty year sentence. The motivation behind this for authorities is that crime has shot through the roof in Dolemite’s Los Angeles neighborhood. If he can fix the problem he can earn a pardom. Sounds fine, he says, plus he plans to settle some old scores along the way.

Going into this you have to accept that man-boobed fat-ass Rudy Ray Moore is going to play an infinitely dangerous, athletically gifted, sexually irresistible urban crusader. In addition you have to accept that the low budget nature of the production means some of the acting will be face-palmingly atrocious. What you have left, then, after making concessions, is style, commentary, and comedy. Moore provides plenty of the first with his pimplike persona and occasional forays into rhyming slang, and commentary is built into the blaxploitation genre, but the comedy is dependent on how near to a sober state you are. We were far too near at first, less so later, and the film improved.

Some cinephiles will label you a cultural philistine if you dare to dislike Dolemite. They’re wrong. Except for the musical numbers the movie is empirically terrible. Truly appreciating it may depend on how deeply you can immerse yourself into a contemporaneous mindframe where what you’re seeing is unlike anything you’ve seen before (which is certainly how audiences of the era must have felt), and therefore impresses you with its freshness and grit. If you can do that, the microphones dangling in shots and bit players who struggle to remember their lines will fade, and instead Dolemite might impress you as a landmark entry in the blaxploitation canon, worth watching for that reason alone.

Then again it might not, because there are at least two-dozen better entries, and as a matter of respect for the genre that fact has to be admitted, no matter how many hipster reviewers with scraggly neckbeards tell you Dolemite is an overlooked gold nugget. It is what it is—a lower tier, lowest budget indie flick with a few legit laughs, such as when a cop sees that Dolemite has literally karate-clawed a guy’s mid-section open, says, impressed, “God damn, Dolemite,” and administers a double-tap coup de grâce. But Moore would prove those flashes were luck, not skill, when he lensed the crushingly bad sequel a year later. Dolemite premiered in the U.S. today in 1975.

There’s a dark cloud on the horizon.

The Human Tornado is a movie that, as a blaxploitation spoof, doesn’t take itself at all seriously yet is still horrendous. Like really bad. Probably the hardest part of watching it is slogging through an opening stand-up bit by star Rudy Ray Moore that is cringe inducingly awful. After that you get a few flashes of cleverness surrounded by ninety minutes of disastrous writing, acting, direction, sound, editing, and future Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson. All of this is good fodder for witty viewers, perhaps, but does not entertain those who are not fans of bad cinema. Which is to say, this one may have put the Pulp Intl. girlfriends off low budget movies forever. Again. But we will forge ahead, bravely, on our own, because The Human Tornado was the middle of three movies starring Moore’s creation Dolemite. One of those was released in 2002, so we’ll skip that one, but we’ll watch Dolemite—the film that introduced the character to moviegoers—come hell, high water, or cyclonic winds. The Human Tornado premiered in the U.S. today in 1976. 

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

1960—Nevil Shute Dies

English novelist Nevil Shute, who wrote the books A Town Like Alice and The Pied Piper, dies in Melbourne, Australia at age sixty-one. Seven of his novels were adapted to film, but his most famous was the cautionary post-nuclear war classic On the Beach.

1967—First Cryonics Patient Frozen

Dr. James Bedford, a University of California psychology professor, becomes the first person to be cryonically preserved with intent of future resuscitation. Bedford had kidney cancer that had metastasized to his lungs and was untreatable. His body was maintained for years by his family before being moved to Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Arizona.

1957—Jack Gilbert Graham Is Executed

Jack Gilbert Graham is executed in Colorado, U.S.A., for killing 44 people by planting a dynamite bomb in a suitcase that was subsequently loaded aboard United Airlines Flight 629. The flight took off from Denver and exploded in mid-air. Graham was executed by means of poison gas in the Colorado State Penitentiary, in Cañon City.

1920—League of Nations Convenes

The League of Nations holds its first meeting, at which it ratifies the Treaty of Versailles, thereby officially ending World War I. At its greatest extent, from 28 September 1934 to 23 February 1935, the League had 58 members. Its final meeting was held in April 1946 in Geneva.

1957—Macmillan Becomes Prime Minister

Harold Macmillan accepts the Queen of England’s invitation to become Prime Minister following the sudden resignation of Sir Anthony Eden. Eden had resigned due to ill health in the wake of the Suez Crisis. Macmillan is remembered for helping negotiate the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty after the Cuban Missile Crisis. He served as PM until 1963.

1923—Autogyro Makes First Flight

Spanish civil engineer and pilot Juan de la Cierva’s autogyro, which was a precursor to the helicopter, makes its first successful flight. De la Cierva’s autogyro made him world famous, and he used his invention to support fascist general Francisco Franco when the Spanish Civil War broke out in July 1936. De la Cierva was dead by December of that same year, perishing, ironically, in a plane crash in Croydon, England.

Italian artist Sandro Symeoni showcases his unique painterly skills on a cover for Peter Cheyney's He Walked in Her Sleep.
French artist Jef de Wulf was both prolific and unique. He painted this cover for René Roques' 1958 novel Secrets.
Christmas themed crime novels are rare, in our experience. Do Not Murder Before Christmas by Jack Iams is an exception, and a good one. The cover art is by Robert Stanley.

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