We’re always on the lookout for modern pulp, and this, ladies and gentlemen, fits the bill perfectly. These are the newly revealed Jetsonesque logos for the U.S.’s pending Space Force, a sure-to-be trillion dollar boondoggle that should finally do the trick of fiscally smashing the country wide open like a ceramic piggy bank. But forget that for now, and forget the horror of space war, and the radiation and the melty skin and the mutations that leave us with eyestalks, and forget the terrifying fact that it’s not enough for humanity to fight over a speck of dust in an immeasurably vast cosmic void without fighting over the cold, inhospitable void itself. Forget all that because these logos are fuckin’ sweet!
The retro-futuristic uniformity of these can’t be an accident. It happened due to presidential oversight, beyond a doubt. And even if it didn’t, he’ll take credit. Where were we when the government came looking for logo designs? Oh, right—not in the U.S. Well, that’s too bad for us, because if we’d gotten this logo gig we’d have charged thirty thousand per and we’d be using the resultant pile of cash to buy beachfront in Bora Bora right now. And we’d party like it’s 1999 until the rising waters washed it all away. Oh well. We missed that boat, but maybe we’ll catch the next one, and it’ll be a starboat, and we’ll soar up and away, as Sinatra sings, “In la-la-land there’s a one-man band… and he’ll toot his flute for you… come fly with me, fly with me… let’s take off in the blue…”
