MY CUSSIN’ VINNIE

He wrote a check with his mouth, cashed it with his face.

British actor and former pro footballer Vinnie Jones could be facing jail time for his role in a brawl in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And by role, we mean the role of a guy eating a beer glass. The incident took place in a bar called Wiley’s Tavern, after a patron identified Jones as the character Juggernaut from X-Men: The Last Stand. According to witnesses, Jones took offense at being recognized for that role, when he has acted in much more significant films such as Snatch and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels. A profanity-laced shouting match escalated into a physical confrontation, at which point 24-year old Jesse Bickett smashed a beer glass in Jones’ face.

As a footballer Jones was known for his rough play, and still holds the English record for fastest booking, when he was ejected after just three seconds of play for illegally tackling Dana Whitehouse in a 1992 Chelsea/Sheffield United match. He also permanently injured Tottenham’s Gary Stevens with another illegal tackle, and infamously squeezed Paul Gascoigne’s testicles. But this time it was Jones who ended up in the hospital. Sioux Falls police Sgt. Tim Hagen, after studying a photo of the injured actor, deadpanned, “He sure got the worst end of that deal.”

Britain, South Dakota, X-Men: The Last Stand, Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Vinnie Jones, cinema

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

December 14

1911—Team Reaches South Pole

Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen, along with his team Olav Bjaaland, Helmer Hanssen, Sverre Hassel, and Oscar Wisting, becomes the first person to reach the South Pole. After a celebrated career, Amundsen eventually disappears in 1928 while returning from a search and rescue flight at the North Pole. His body is never found.

December 13

1944—Velez Commits Suicide

Mexican actress Lupe Velez, who was considered one of the great beauties of her day, commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. In her note, Velez says she did it to avoid bringing shame on her unborn child by giving birth to him out of wedlock, but many Hollywood historians believe bipolar disorder was the actual cause. The event inspired a 1965 Andy Warhol film entitled Lupe.

December 13

1958—Gordo the Monkey Lost After Space Flight

After a fifteen minute flight into space on a Jupiter AM-13 rocket, a monkey named Gordo splashes down in the South Pacific but is lost after his capsule sinks. The incident sparks angry protests from the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but NASA says animals are needed for such tests.

December 12

1968—Tallulah Bankhead Dies

American actress, talk show host, and party girl Tallulah Bankhead, who was fond of turning cartwheels in a dress without underwear and once made an entrance to a party without a stitch of clothing on, dies in St. Luke’s Hospital in New York City of double pneumonia complicated by emphysema.

December 11

1962—Canada Has Last Execution

The last executions in Canada occur when Arthur Lucas and Ronald Turpin, both of whom are Americans who had been extradited north after committing separate murders in Canada, are hanged at Don Jail in Toronto. When Turpin is told that he and Lucas will probably be the last people hanged in Canada, he replies, â€œSome consolation.â€

December 11

1964—Guevara Speaks at U.N.

Ernesto “Che” Guevara, representing the nation of Cuba, speaks at the 19th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York City. His speech calls for wholesale changes in policies between rich nations and poor ones, as well as five demands of the United States, none of which are met.

December 11

2008—Legendary Pin-Up Bettie Page Dies

After suffering a heart attack several days before, erotic model Bettie Page, who in the 1950s became known as the Queen of Pin-ups, dies when she is removed from life support machinery. Thanks to the unique style she displayed in thousands of photos and film loops, Page is considered one of the most influential beauties who ever lived.