This cover of National Enquirer published today in 1967 has, like all tabloids strove for, a sensational headline: The Pill: ‘Give It to all Girls over 13’. Back during the 1960s it was probably somewhat eyebrow-raising. In contrast, if even the lowliest magazine did it today we think there would be a full scale thermonuclear explosion of outrage, complete with fallout in the form of screaming pundits, grandstanding politicians, and vengeful ministers.
With any other newsprint style tabloid you’d know this splashline was total fiction, but Enquirer had a bit more credibility in this tier, so it’s probably an actual quote from an actual doctor. But because this image came off Ebay we don’t have the inside of the paper, so we can’t tell you who it was.
We have the back, though, and that’s good because the reason we were interested in this is because of Kim Novak. Enquirer touts an exclusive from journo Walter Benson: Kim Novak Reveals Her Plan to Marry.
Kim Novak, the lonely star who tried marriage and hated it, is getting married again. She will wed bearded restaurant owner Joel Thomas this fall. No exact date for the wedding has been set yet, but in an exclusive
interview last month Kim told this Enquirer reporter: “This is the real thing. This is real love. Until now I never knew what love was. I thought I knew, but I didn’t. Until now life had passed me by. I was lonely, mixed up, unhappy.
Joel has changed all that. He lives for me, I live for him, and we’re going to get married in the fall. Every man I have ever known has wanted to know every damn little thing about my past—where I lived, who I dated, and what I did when he wasn’t around. Joel is different. He loves me for what I am now, not what I’ve been before.”
That’s so heartwarming. One problem—she never married the guy. Maybe because he looked like a bad magician from a cut-rate circus. See below.
Kim deserved—and got—better (we’re totally making that up—we don’t know anything about Thomas, but again, just look at the guy). Novak had married mid-level actor Richard Johnson in 1965, but the union lasted only a year. She didn’t marry again until 1976, when she tied the knot with veterinarian Robert Malloy. She was still with him when he died in 2020, so we’d call that a success, especially in Hollywood terms. Novak is ninety-two at the moment, is among the most revered golden age Hollywood stars, and probably hasn’t thought about Joel Thomas since the turn of the millennium. Want to see more of her in the tabloids? She was an obsession. Check here, here, here, here, and here.
