Femmes Fatales

May 9 2024

SECOND SKINS

The long and short of legwear.

Polish actress Magda Konopka tries two different styles of leg coverage in these images that first showed up in the Italian magazine Playmen in 1967. Somewhere in the changing room she lost her shirt, but that’ll happen. It’s happened to us. Konopka is known for such b-movies as Blindman, Robinson and His Tempestuous Slaves, and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (which we’ve written about to a ridiculous extent), but is probably best remembered for the 1968 thriller Satanik. We haven’t watched that, but it’s on the list. You can see more Konopka here.

Poland, Italy, Blindman, Satanik, Robinson und seine wilden Sklavinnen, Robinson and His Tempestuous Slaves, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Playmen, Magda Konopka

Vintage Pulp

July 11 2022

EXCEPTION TO THE RULE

Vetri obeys neither man nor beast.

Above is a pretty nice find, an Italian promo poster for Quando i dinosauri si mordevano la coda, better known as When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth. We’ve featured the movie several times, and probably will again because it starred Victoria Vetri, aka Angela Dorian, aka Victoria Rathgeb, who fascinates us not merely because she’s beautiful in the film, but also because she shot her husband. She appears on this poster with co-stars Magda Knopka and Imogen Hassall. When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth opened in England in 1970, and worldwide the next year. There’s no official release date for Italy, but it would have played there during the summer of 1971.

Italy, Quando i dinosauri si mordevano la coda, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Victoria Vetri, Imogen Hassall, Magda Konopka, Angela Dorian, Victoria Rathgeb, poster art, cinema

Vintage Pulp

February 10 2021

NATURAL SELECTION

It took nature millions of years to evolve the bikini body. And a costume designer one movie to exploit it.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth was part of a short trend of ’60s/’70s films that defied science and showed dinosaurs and humans living together. In this case, one of the humans was beautiful star Victoria Vetri, aka Angela Dorian. The movie would be perfect entertainment for creationists, except it’s also procreationist—i.e. there’s nudity and sex in it. The very religious may not like cinematic skin, but in our book the movie is a natural selection for an evening’s entertainment. This promo poster is similar to the Japanese promo we showed you several years ago, but even rarer. In addition all three female co-stars—Vetri, Imogen Hassall, and Magda Konopka—get life-sized promo posters, seen below. These items are real gems.

Here’s a bit of trivia. Efx duo Jim Danforth and Roger Dicken earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Achievement in Special Visual Effects, and we don’t mean for the fur bikinis. We know—it’s hard to believe the movie won anything except the eternal disdain of evolutionary scientists, but it was a box office hit partly thanks to Danforth and Dicken’s miniature stop action work. We guess Vetri and company had a little something to do with it too. Check the movie out sometime. It’s fun, whether your preference in partly clothed actors runs to male, female, or both. After opening in England in 1970, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth premiered in the U.S. today in 1971. You can read more about it here and here.

Academy Award, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Victoria Vetri, Angela Dorian, Imogen Hassall, Magda Konopka, Jim Danforth, Roger Dicken, poster art, cinema

Femmes Fatales

October 12 2018

TIP OF THE SPEAR

See the blood? I just killed Raquel Welch.

Which is the best prehistoric lost world adventure ever filmed? Is it One Million Years B.C. with Raquel Welch or When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth with Victoria Vetri? Don’t get us wrong. Both are complete bullshit. Both show humans and dinosaurs living together, which never happened unless you’re a fundamentalist who believes what you see in biblical museums. But apart from the scientific silliness of both movies, which is best? It’s a question like Beatles versus Stones, California white versus Spanish red, or Kanye West versus Anderson Paak. It shows who you are. What you’re made of. We’re going with Vetri and Ruled the Earth, because the filming of Dinosaurs was basically a long form orgy and Vetri admits it. Also she shot her terrible husband in the chest, and we guess the only reason she used a gun was because her spear was in the other room. Total badass. This photo is from 1970.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, One Million Years B.C., Victoria Vetri, Angela Dorian, Raquel Welch

Vintage Pulp

March 27 2016

REPTILE DYSFUNCTION

The dinosaurs aren't the only ones with small brains.

1960s and 1970s lost world movies like When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth are fun, but just lately they’re also a reminder that—despite all geological, biological, paleontological and, for that matter, just plain logical proof to the contrary—a lot of people actually believe humans co-existed with dinosaurs. Well, this movie is for them, and as a bonus everyone in it is white, which of course we know was the case in the prehistoric past. But does homogeneity bring harmony to the planet? No, because Victoria Vetri is a ravishing blonde whose differences from the brunette tribe she encounters initially make her a perfect sacrifice candidate, and later a potential mate for one of the men. This annoys the hell out of the brunette women, and thence sparks fly and deeper troubles develop.

In its own way When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth is better than the more famous One Million Years B.C., and in her own way Victoria Vetri is better than the more famous Raquel Welch. That may sound a bit crazy, but in terms of quality note that the two films have very similar scores on IMDB—5.8 versus 5.2—and in terms of lead actresses Vetri gets naked whereas Welch does not. Is it okay to say that? Well, we’re a bit caveman-like ourselves, so blame it on our primitive brains. Anyway, both movies are fun, if scientifically preposterous, but When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth is cheaper, which makes it funnier, and in turn means it’s a perfect popcorn and beer flick. Watch it and laugh. It premiered in England in October 1970 and rampaged across Japan today in 1971.

I am called Sanna. I come from across the great sea and represent a new evolutionary stage in personal grooming.

You fake blonde bitch. You better get your eyes off my man before I yank them out of your head and eat them on a cracker.

Shit. I really wanted to make friends with everyone. Sometimes being astoundingly beautiful is really hard.

So Tara, where’s your girlfriend? Oh well, doesn’t matter. Tara sounds a little like a girl’s name. And Ayak sounds like a boy’s name. Maybe you two should swap names. Is your cave near here?

Just to warn you, Sanna, kissing and foreplay don’t exist yet, so you’re just gonna have to figure out some way to get your lady parts ready for this.

Oh, and I don’t have a bed. Do you have those where you’re from? They’re really expensive here. I’m thinking of maybe buying a futon instead.

Hah hah, something about that golden muff of yours just makes me smile. I don’t even know why…

Maybe this isn’t the time or place to mention it, but I’ve been seeing the blonde. We’re maybe gonna buy a condo. I want my engagement bone back.

Blonde bitch stole my man! Her hair is that color because of evil magic! She thinks brunettes are violent and stupid! Brothers and sisters, we must sacrifice her!

And fuck you, Tara! What kind of name is that for a caveman anyway? Sounds like a girl’s name! And I’m keeping my engagement bone. I earned this!

I think this crazy chick really intends to see us dead, Sanna. I should have broken up with her that time she tried to stab me in the groin with a sharpened wolf’s femur. We better run.

Japan, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Victoria Vetri, Magda Konopka, Imogen Hassall, Robin Hawdon, poster art, cinema, movie review

Femmes Fatales

December 3 2015

A MAJOR HASSALL

But just Imogen the possibilities.

With the above, we’ve now given about as much exposure to a terrible film as can be excused. The photo shows British actress Imogen Hassall from When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, and the shot was made during that epic’s filming in the Canary Islands in 1969. Some may remember the movie premiering in late 1970 in England and 1971 elsewhere, but it languished in the studio vaults for a while. Actually, the entire shoot was a circus.

Here’s co-star Victoria Vetri, speaking to journalist Joe Vannicola about filming the movie on Fuerteventura: “Two weeks after we were there the director left his wife. He was sleeping with the script supervisor. It was like you could have made a movie within a movie. Everybody was screwing around. People were skinny dipping, drinking sangria instead of tea at four in the afternoon, getting drunk [constantly], and it was like party time.

Three or four in the morning they’d say, ‘You have to be up at six for a sunrise shoot? Let’s stay up all night!’ [snip] Of course, having [me] around didn’t help because I was the first one to drop a loincloth. And all the girls between shots were getting a tan. After a while it didn’t faze anybody. When you’re all sitting around half naked it doesn’t matter.” So the above photo may actually be the overdressed Hassall. We approve in any case.

Britain, Canary Islands, Fuerteventura, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Imogen Hassall, Victoria Vetri, Joe Vannicola, cinema

Femmes Fatales

August 7 2013

MAGDA CUM LAUDE

Get your minds out of the gutter. It’s Latin for “with honor.”

Above is a shot of Polish actress Magda Konopka, who appeared in such b-classics as Satanik, Diabolicamente…Letizia, and the legendarily chaotic (as in copious infidelities among cast and crew, constant skinny-dipping, and all night sangria binges) lost world production When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth. This image appeared in Girl Illustrated around 1970, more or less right in the middle of what for Konopka would be an eighteen-year film career.

Poland, Satanik, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Diabolicamente... Letizia, Girl Illustrated, Magda Konopka, cinema

Intl. Notebook

August 25 2010

CAVING IN

It’s called dancing, silly. It’s fun! I just invented it, and in the future women will judge men entirely by whether they’re willing to take lessons in it.

We found some film stills from the 1970 caveman epic When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, and thought they’d be a good share for today. The movie starred Magda Konopka, Victoria Vetri, Imogen Hassall, and a cast of loinclothed others, and even though it has worse science than what you’d find in a Kentucky creationism museum, we’ll buy the idea of prehistoric women in fur bikinis any day when they look like this group. More stills below. They all beg for captions, but we’re short of time, so you’ll have to write your own.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Victoria Vetri, Magda Konopka, Imogen Hassall, cinema

Femmes Fatales

July 23 2009

FUR IN THE PAST

Scientists now believe the first push-up bra was invented in 5,000 B.C.

Creationism has made it clear that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. We’ve always concurred with this crackpot theory because we love the idea that the human struggle for survival was really an episode of The Flintstones. Today, thanks to this promo shot from When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, we’ve learned that prehistoric times were not only slapstick fun, but sexy too. In fact, these tiny fur bikinis are probably the most Intelligent Designs ever. Now if we could just see Wilma in one our fantasies would be complete.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, Magda Konopka, Victoria Vetri, Imogen Hasall

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HISTORY REWIND

The headlines that mattered yesteryear.

March 22

1963—Profumo Denies Affair

In England, the Secretary of State for War, John Profumo, denies any impropriety with showgirl Christine Keeler and threatens to sue anyone repeating the allegations. The accusations involve not just infidelity, but the possibility acquaintances of Keeler might be trying to ply Profumo for nuclear secrets. In June, Profumo finally resigns from the government after confessing his sexual involvement with Keeler and admitting he lied to parliament.

March 22

1978—Karl Wallenda Falls to His Death

World famous German daredevil and high-wire walker Karl Wallenda, founder of the acrobatic troupe The Flying Wallendas, falls to his death attempting to walk on a cable strung between the two towers of the Condado Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Wallenda is seventy-three years old at the time, but it is a 30 mph wind, rather than age, that is generally blamed for sending him from the wire.

March 22

2006—Swedish Spy Stig Wennerstrom Dies

Swedish air force colonel Stig Wennerström, who had been convicted in the 1970s of passing Swedish, U.S. and NATO secrets to the Soviet Union over the course of fifteen years, dies in an old age home at the age of ninety-nine. The Wennerström affair, as some called it, was at the time one of the biggest scandals of the Cold War.

March 21

1963—Alcatraz Closes

The federal penitentiary located on Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay closes. The island had been home to a lighthouse, a military fortification, and a military prison over the years. In 1972, it would become a national recreation area open to tourists, and it would receive national landmark designations in 1976 and 1986.

March 20

1916—Einstein Publishes General Relativity

German-born theoretical physicist Albert Einstein publishes his general theory of relativity. Among the effects of the theory are phenomena such as the curvature of space-time, the bending of rays of light in gravitational fields, faster than light universe expansion, and the warping of space time around a rotating body.

March 19

1931—Nevada Approves Gambling

In the U.S., the state of Nevada passes a resolution allowing for legalized gambling. Unregulated gambling had been commonplace in the early Nevada mining towns, but was outlawed in 1909 as part of a nationwide anti-gaming crusade. The leading proponents of re-legalization expected that gambling would be a short term fix until the state’s economic base widened to include less cyclical industries. However, gaming proved over time to be one of the least cyclical industries ever conceived.

March 19

1941—Tuskegee Airmen Take Flight

During World War II, the 99th Pursuit Squadron, aka the Tuskegee Airmen, is activated. The group is the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, and serves with distinction in Africa, Italy, Germany and other areas. In March 2007 the surviving airmen and the widows of those who had died received Congressional Gold Medals for their service.