Is anything sexier than ancient Chinese philosophy? If sex sells, sex can sell philosophy. The Chinese Aunt, which you see above, is a compendium of ancient fables from Lao-Tsi (aka Lao Tse, Lao Tsu, Laosi, and so forth), the man known as the father of Chinese Daoism. This pulp-style 1960s collection has a bit more visual oomph than those crinkly parchments from the sixth century B.C., and rightly so, because the thing must be just filled with sex. We haven’t read it yet, but we have it right here, and, skipping ahead to where the sexy parts must be, we come to a quote from the Master that says, let’s see, “You know who you are and you know what you want.” True enough—we want some Daoist sex action. Explosions too, if we can get them. After all, the Chinese did invent gunpowder. Skipping ahead again, we find another quote, which goes, “You cannot reflect in streaming water.” Very instructive. We’ll ponder that later. Skipping to the end, because that’s where the climax with all the sex and gunfire and explosions must be, we find another saying from the Master: “When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Okay, clearly this could take a while. We’ll get back to you after the weekend.
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1947—Heyerdahl Embarks on Kon-Tiki
Norwegian ethnographer and adventurer Thor Heyerdahl and his five man crew set out from Peru on a giant balsa wood raft called the Kon-Tiki in order to prove that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia. After a 101 day, 4,300 mile (8,000 km) journey, Kon-Tiki smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands on August 7, 1947, thus demonstrating that it is possible for a primitive craft to survive a Pacific crossing. 1989—Soviets Acknowledge Chernobyl Accident
After two days of rumors and denials the Soviet Union admits there was an accident at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine. Reactor number four had suffered a meltdown, sending a plume of radioactive fallout into the atmosphere and over an extensive geographical area. Today the abandoned radioactive area surrounding Chernobyl is rife with local wildlife and has been converted into a wildlife sanctuary, one of the largest in Europe. 1945—Mussolini Is Arrested
Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, his mistress Clara Petacci, and fifteen supporters are arrested by Italian partisans in Dongo, Italy while attempting to escape the region in the wake of the collapse of Mussolini's fascist government. The next day, Mussolini and his mistress are both executed, along with most of the members of their group. Their bodies are then trucked to Milan where they are hung upside down on meathooks from the roof of a gas station, then spat upon and stoned until they are unrecognizable. 1933—The Gestapo Is Formed
The Geheime Staatspolizei, aka Gestapo, the official secret police force of Nazi Germany, is established. It begins under the administration of SS leader Heinrich Himmler in his position as Chief of German Police, but by 1939 is administered by the Reichssicherheitshauptamt, or Reich Main Security Office, and is a feared entity in every corner of Germany and beyond. 1937—Guernica Is Bombed
In Spain during the Spanish Civil War, the Basque town of Guernica is bombed by the German Luftwaffe, resulting in widespread destruction and casualties. The Basque government reports 1,654 people killed, while later research suggests far fewer deaths, but regardless, Guernica is viewed as an example of terror bombing and other countries learn that Nazi Germany is committed to that tactic. The bombing also becomes inspiration for Pablo Picasso, resulting in a protest painting that is not only his most famous work, but one the most important pieces of art ever produced.
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