Sex Files | Musiquarium May 9 2009
PRIVATE PARTS
Three sets of illicit nudes in one week? Must be getting close to summertime.

As we’ve said before, there’s nothing more pulp than illicit celebrity nudes. In the old days starlets skinned down for money before they were famous, then spent months or years trying to wrest the old negatives from the photographers. These days trying to stop the spread of nude images is about as fruitful as trying to contain H1N1 flu. In the last week the nudes of three famous or semi-famous women leaked onto the internet. First was beauty pageant contestant Carrie Prejean, and we had to yawn, because after her assertions that she was a Biblically correct person you just knew a skeleton or two would come tumbling out of her closet. On Thursday, b-level soul singer Cassie, just above, saw her private parts aired out on the web, and yesterday Rihanna, at top, had her turn. Around Pulp Intl. it’s axiomatic that if the pictures don't show the moneymaker they’re a publicity stunt. In that regard we pronounce both Cassie’s and Rihanna’s nudes legit. For that reason, we won’t show the most revealing images, but they’re out there in the digital ether to be gotten if you’re curious. Both Cassie and Rihanna are reportedly angry about the leaks, but of course they’ll both survive with careers intact—that’s the beauty of living in our modern, jaded age. We wonder if they ever thought of keeping the shots on a flash drive locked in a safe? Not that we want to impede the flow of nudie pix from celebs, but it seems appropriate to point out that while the modern age presents its fair share of problems, it presents an equal share of solutions.

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Musiquarium Feb 9 2009
SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL
Chris Brown's career turned upside down by assault accusation.

Between Michael Phelps and Alex Rodriguez, it had already been quite a month for damaged images. But as details of pop singer Chris Brown’s arrest trickle out from various sources, a once bright future looks seriously clouded. Multiple sources now confirm that the woman Brown is accused of assaulting is mega-popular Barbadian singer Rihanna.

The incident occurred Sunday morning, when police were called to a silver Lamborghini parked in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Hancock Park. Brown had left the scene, but police found Rihanna with visible injuries, including a bloody nose and bite marks on her arm and fingers. Asked who attacked her she identified Brown. Brown turned himself into police Monday morning and, after posting $50,000 bail, retained celebrity lawyer Mark Geragos.

The fallout for Brown has already been severe—and deserved if the charges are true. After backing out of the Grammy Awards, where both he and Rihanna were nominated and scheduled to perform, he then cancelled a scheduled appearance at the upcoming NBA All Star weekend. Additionally, Wrigley’s Gum has suspended advertising featuring Brown.

As for Rihanna, she refused treatment at the scene, but her injuries were photographed by police, and she later received medical care at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. No further information has been available from her publicist, other than that the singer is “well.”

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 14
1911—Team Reaches South Pole
Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen, along with his team Olav Bjaaland, Helmer Hanssen, Sverre Hassel, and Oscar Wisting, becomes the first person to reach the South Pole. After a celebrated career, Amundsen eventually disappears in 1928 while returning from a search and rescue flight at the North Pole. His body is never found.
December 13
1944—Velez Commits Suicide
Mexican actress Lupe Velez, who was considered one of the great beauties of her day, commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. In her note, Velez says she did it to avoid bringing shame on her unborn child by giving birth to him out of wedlock, but many Hollywood historians believe bipolar disorder was the actual cause. The event inspired a 1965 Andy Warhol film entitled Lupe.
1958—Gordo the Monkey Lost After Space Flight
After a fifteen minute flight into space on a Jupiter AM-13 rocket, a monkey named Gordo splashes down in the South Pacific but is lost after his capsule sinks. The incident sparks angry protests from the American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but NASA says animals are needed for such tests.
December 12
1968—Tallulah Bankhead Dies
American actress, talk show host, and party girl Tallulah Bankhead, who was fond of turning cartwheels in a dress without underwear and once made an entrance to a party without a stitch of clothing on, dies in St. Luke's Hospital in New York City of double pneumonia complicated by emphysema.
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