You’d never put blue, orange and yellow together in an outfit, but those colors coordinate nicely on this Uncensored from August 1971. The magazine had launched in 1953 and become a heavy hitter in the tabloid market by the end of the decade, but by now was running on fumes. However, that didn’t stop it from taking swipes at big targets—in this case England’s royal family in the person of Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon. Born Margaret Rose, the princess had a rebellious spirit and had married late—at age twenty-nine—to a commoner named Anthony Armstrong-Jones. Jones was a photographer, and if you’re going to slander a photographer, of course you call him a pornographer. There’s no evidence Jones—who became Lord Snowdon—was head of a smut ring, as Uncensored claims, but he did shoot his share of nudes, like the image of Gloria Higdon below, dating from 1959. His marriage to Princess Margaret was known to be shaky, and by the time the above cover appeared, the couple were leading separate lives. Margaret had a series of indiscreet affairs, and had unconfirmed liaisons with the likes of Mick Jagger, David Niven, and Peter Sellers. Snowdon, on the other hand, became a royal favorite, shooting official portraits for the Queen and other family members. Lord Snowdon and his wife finally divorced in 1978, and Princess Margaret died at the relatively early age of seventy-two after many years of drinking and consuming prescription drugs. Maybe we’ll revisit her at some point—her life reads like a melodrama. 

Every once in a while we go through a period of fascination with the seven-hundred-fifty-million car pile-up that is American popular culture. Of all the crashes we’ve seen, this is just about the most bizarre. Reality television star Tila Tequila was pelted with debris—including a beer can that opened a cut on her face—after she flashed her breasts in an attempt to control an unruly audience at the Gathering of the Juggalos music festival last week. The first anyone heard of this disaster was when she sold photos of her bandaged face to TMZ. The comment strings indicated that everyone thought it was a publicity stunt. Well, turns out she really did get hit with abeer can, and here’s the evidence, from the website Driven by Boredom. Apparently, the crowd became enraged due to the utter ineptness of her performance. We don’t know about that, because we didn’t hear it, and you couldn’t pay us to. What we wonder is if maybe the crowd became enraged due to the fact that they’re simply sick and tired of these forays into music by untalented professional celebrity types (Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, et.al.). We’re not condoning the mob behavior of these apes—they staged an impromptu public stoning. Yet the whole catastrophe is impossible to look away from. We think of the circus scene in Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian where the drunk cowboy shoots the dancing bear. The bear is mortally wounded, but all it knows is to keep dancing, soit dances faster and faster and roars its dying pain as chaos erupts all around it. Tequila's attempt to keep performing even as her lifeblood was gushing out of her forehead is a sad echo of McCarthy's prose—and truly the stuff of nightmares. There was Bosch’s Garden of Earthy Delights, Picasso’s Guernica, and McCarthy’s Blood Meridian—and now we have Tequila’s Gathering of the Juggalos. We don't know if it qualifies as the sort of real-world pulp we're always looking for, but we do know we may never sleep again.  

Too bad we can’t find out anything about this film, because the poster sure has us intrigued. It’s for a 1976 pinku flick never released in the west, but called, more or less, Wet Pistils of Three Sisters (a pistil being the female ovule-bearing part of a flower composed of ovary, style and stigma—forgive us if you already knew that). The film stars Kayoko Sugi, who made her name in torture porn flicks like Bôgyaku onna gômon (aka Violent Torture) Jûsan-nin renzoku bôkôma (aka Demon of Violence), and Gendai ryôki sei-hanzai (aka Present Day Bizarre Sex Crime). These titles may sound pretty far out, but remember we’re talking about a film industry that has made movies about women having sex with octopuses (see below), so what we really have here is restraint in action. If we ever see any of these movies—and Lord knows, we keep trying—we’ll report back. 

We’re back folks, and what a lovely trip it was—at least, the parts we remember. Above you see a Japanese poster for Deep Throat and Deep Throat Part 2, which we gather ran as a double bill in Japan sometime in the mid-1970s. Deep Throat and its sequel starred Linda Lovelace as a woman whose clitoris was in her throat, and the first installment was the first truly mainstream porn film. 

As you may know, Laurence Fishburne’s daughter Montana is releasing a porn movie in hopes that it will make her famous. Inspired by Kim Kardashian, who earned her celebrity via an accidentally (?) leaked sex tape, Montana Fishburne seems to be hoping for a career in reality television. We weren’t going to comment on this story, but someone sent us a link that we foolishly followed down the rabbit hole, and since we can’t unsee what was there, we’re going to dump it on you.

In short, we have to come down on Montana’s side: she could spend the next twenty years developing the chops to be a character actress, or an artist, or a novelist, but if she wants be a celebrity now porn is a surefire method. Since Morpheus, er, we mean Montana, understands that she probably can’t be a real Hollywood star without looking like Zoe Saldana and weighing 100 pounds, she boldly took a step that has made her known to tens of millions of people who had never heard of her just days ago. So she’s already pretty much proved her point, wouldn’t you say? Will she achieve her goal of Kardashian-like fame? Who can say? Is it a sign of cultural decay that people get famous this way? People have always gotten famous this way, as anyone who follows this site knows.

Personally, we could easily picture Fishburne in Pam Grier type roles, karate-chopping men in throat, starting with all the assholes calling her evil names in internet comment chains. In any case, you’ll find no phony morality here. We simply play our role as a cog in the machine. Montana Fishburne, with pure post-millennial pragmatism, had decided porn is her route to fame, and since we always post these kinds of photos, today is no exception. The imagery is courtesy of her partners at Vivid Video. Our work is done.

August 1960 calendar shot of Diane Webber, whose specialization in nudist and health publications made her one of the most photographed models of the sixties. 

If you’re going to do smut, do it highbrow. This July 1937 issue of the French nudie mag Beautés is filled with many classy images, but our favorite is the woman who seems to be making plans for the defense of Paris. We really hope DeGaulle didn’t listen to her, but on the other hand, it would explain a lot. 

Cover and interior pages from Adam, July 1976.  

One good pinku deserves another, and such is the case with Koyu Ohara’s True Story of a Woman Condemned: Sex Hell. It was released in March 1975, and the follow-up, for which you see the promo poster above, appeared a mere three months later. It’s almost like they planned to make a sequel all along. Anyway, installment two was called Zoku jituroku onna kanbetsusho, aka True Story of a Woman Condemned Continues, and mainly focuses on new and more devious tortures for Hitomi Kozue and her female co-stars to endure. All we can say it isn’t quite our cup of pee, but we give creativity points—we’ve never seen a woman sodomized with a plant before. Zoku jituroku onna kanbetsusho premiered in Tokyo today in 1975. 

Above you see a killer promo poster for an unknown Roman porno flick made by Nikkatsu Studios, circa 1978, starring Miyako Yamaguchi. When we say unknown, we mean it had no western release, thus has no English title we can use to refer to it. But we can make one up. Based on the characters we recognize, we’re going to give this the English name “Desire in a Grassy Place”. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, we know, but “Tiger’s Wood” was already taken.