 Rampant reptile kills nineteen by triggering plane crash. 
 In the Democratic Republic of Congo earlier today, nineteen passengers and crew were killed when a Filair Let 410 commuter plane crashed. The craft, which was exactly like the one pictured above, was en route from the capital Kinshasa to the city of Bandundu, about four-hundred kilometers to the northeast, but went down near the end of the flight.
According to the news website Jeune Afrique, the lone survivor of the accident told an incredible tale: as the plane was on its final landing approach and was just miles from Bandundu’s airport, a crocodile escaped from a carry-on bag and began scuttling wildly through the plane’s aisle. Panicked passengers fled toward the forward end of the cabin and their combined weight caused the aircraft to flip over in mid-air and plummet earthward, where it smashed into a house. The photo above left shows the aftermath of the mishap. Early reports were quickly revised to indicate that the witness was not actually the only survivor—the crocodile lived through the ordeal too, only to be killed with a machete when rescue personnel arrived on the scene and found it crawling around the wreckage. No word yet on which passenger actually boarded with the croc, or whether it was a crazy assassination scheme that succeeded only because Samuel L. Jackson wasn’t there to foil it. In any case, Snakes on a Plane doesn’t seem so farfetched anymore.
 She’s smiling because she has a knife behind her back. 
“Did you really think I was going to have sex with you, asshole? You must be either stupid or stoned. What actually happens next is a little role-reversal. You get to be Christina Ricci and I get to be Samuel L. Jackson, alright? Truth is, chained up would be your normal state if there were any justice in the world, because—let’s face it—you men are basically scum and have been systematically destroying the place for quite a while. I mean, you moved in next door only a month ago and already you’ve got a frickin’ Firebird up on cinderblocks in your driveway that I have to look at every day. And that Kenny Chesney country bumpkin music you blast all night, I hate that shit. A little torture and pain is well deserved at this point, and believe you me, I plan to strike down upon thee with furious fucking anger and great goddamned vengeance! We’re gonna play Samuel L. Jackson style, white boy, only the game isn’t Snakes on a Plane, it’s one snake in serious…muthafuckin…PAIN!”
 The boob that refused to die. 
The FCC today appealed its loss in the indecency suit against singer Janet Jackson by asking the U.S. Supreme Court to review the case. During halftime of the 2004 Super Bowl, singer Justin Timberlake deliberately removed part of Jackson’s costume and exposed a pastie-covered breast for approximately one second before a worldwide television audience—including millions of children who we are to believe now suffer from recurring chocolate boob nightmares.
The 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals threw out the case against Jackson in July (strangely, Timberlake was never sued), but the politically conservative FCC considers the matter of a female breast so weighty that two previous losses leave it undeterred in its desire to impose a six-figure fine on the singer and CBS Television. No word yet on whether the Supreme Court, also politically conservative, will hear the case.
The FCC has appeals pending as well in indecency cases against Cher for uttering “fuck” during the 2002 Billboard Music Awards, and against Nicole Richie, who doubled down the following year at the same awards show by blurting “fuck” and “shit”. U2 lead singer Bono also said “fuck” on American television in 2003, during a Golden Globes Awards broadcast (strangely, he was never sued). As for Pulp Intl., we’re safe for the moment—we think.
 Did Craigslist aid and abet prostitution, or was the website victimized by working girls? 
Is Craigslist the new millenium’s red light district? Eight prostitutes were arrested in NYC last month for using the online site to solicit johns, bringing the year’s total of busted women to more than 70. In Chicago 60 women were netted. In Seattle a sting using undercover police officers nabbed 71 men, including a bank officer and a surgeon. And in Jacksonville, Fla., in August police arrested 33 men.
Nassau County, NY, assistant chief of detectives Richard McGuire put it bluntly: “Craigslist has become the high-tech 42nd Street, where much of the solicitation takes place now. Technology has worked its way into every profession, including the oldest.” Lt. Eric Sano, of the Seattle PD, describes a complex subculture exposed by his department’s sting operation, in which men are referred to as “hobbyists” and prostitutes are “providers”. There are even online review “sites where men rate their experiences and describe a woman’s looks and the sex acts she’s willing to perform, Sano said.
While law enforcement officials accuse Craigslist of enabling prostitution, company president Jim Buckmaster points out that 24 staff members cannot monitor 20 million listings per month. They count on users to flag objectionable ads. But cops ask how many users who navigate their way into the “erotic services” section of Craiglist are likely to flag ads. It’s a bit like asking a gambler to report his bookie.
Under the Communications Decency Act of 1996 the ads are legal and several websites—including Craigslist—have withstood legal challenges. “You hold the speaker liable, not the soapbox,” explains Kurt B. Opsahl, senior staff attorney for the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Mr. Buckmaster agrees, saying that Craigslist is no different from magazines that carry sex-oriented ads. But law enforcement officials say Craigslist’s scope and format are especially useful to the sex industry. With listings for  approximately 450 cities around the world, the website counts 25 million users and 8 billion page views a month. Online traffic ranker Alexa calculates Craigslist is currently the thirty-seventh most visited website in the world.
Craig Newmark, above, who founded Craigslist in San Francisco in 1995, has his own take on the matter. “We are a democracy,” he explains, “and we find we can trust our community. We would prefer that [police] go after violent criminals or crooked congressmen.” Many agree with Newmark that prostitution is a minor or even victimless crime, but Lt. Sano doesn’t see it that way: “No young girl grows up dreaming of doing this. It is easy money …but these women are being exploited and it’s degrading. You should hear what some of these guys have asked our detectives to do—it’s disgusting.”
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1962—Marilyn Monroe Sings to John F. Kennedy
A birthday salute to U.S. President John F. Kennedy takes place at Madison Square Garden, in New York City. The highlight is Marilyn Monroe's breathy rendition of "Happy Birthday," which does more to fuel speculation that the two were sexually involved than any actual evidence. 1926—Aimee Semple McPherson Disappears
In the U.S., Canadian born evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson disappears from Venice Beach, California in the middle of the afternoon. She is initially thought to have drowned, but on June 23, McPherson stumbles out of the desert in Agua Prieta, a Mexican town across the border from Douglas, Arizona, claiming to have been kidnapped, drugged, tortured and held for ransom in a shack by two people named Steve and Mexicali Rose. However, it soon becomes clear that McPherson's tale is fabricated, though to this day the reasons behind it remain unknown. 1964—Mods and Rockers Jailed After Riots
In Britain, scores of youths are jailed following a weekend of violent clashes between gangs of Mods and Rockers in Brighton and other south coast resorts. Mods listened to ska music and The Who, wore suits and rode Italian scooters, while Rockers listened to Elvis and Gene Vincent, and rode motorcycles. These differences triggered the violence. 1974—Police Raid SLA Headquarters
In the U.S., Los Angeles police raid the headquarters of the revolutionary group the Symbionese Liberation Army, resulting in the deaths of six members. The SLA had gained international notoriety by kidnapping nineteen-year old media heiress Patty Hearst from her Berkeley, California apartment, an act which precipitated her participation in an armed bank robbery. 1978—Charlie Chaplin's Missing Body Is Found
Eleven weeks after it was disinterred and stolen from a grave in Corsier near Lausanne, Switzerland, Charlie Chaplin's corpse is found by police. Two men—Roman Wardas, a 24-year-old Pole, and Gantscho Ganev, a 38-year-old Bulgarian—are convicted in December of stealing the coffin and trying to extort £400,000 from the Chaplin family.
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