Vintage Pulp Jan 1 2013
THREE TIMES AS NICE
Ringing in the New Year in style.


Survived another year. And so have you. So let’s open 2013 by catching up with the Goodtime Weekly Calendar. We missed two weeks while we were in Morocco, and those pages are below. Above you see the January 1 page of this great publication, which also happens to be the cover, and it features model/actress/centerfold June Wilkinson shot by film director Russ Meyer. The photo is a variation of another Wilkinson image that appears inside the calendar later in the year. The images below are credited to Ron Vogel and L.W., whoever he is. Obviously, there's a three week backlog of jokes, but by now we’ve established that most of them are not in any way amusing, so rather than transcribe the entire collection, we’ve selected what we hope are the most interesting. Enjoy.

“A pedestrian: The man who didn’t believe his wife when she said the family needed two cars.”—Cannonball Adderley
 
“Many a man who would never think of gambling goes out and gets married.”—Sig Sakowicz
 
At Christmas time, every girl likes her past forgotten and her presents remembered.
 
Women are like modern paintings: you’ll never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
 
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”—William Shakespeare
 
“People Who throw kisses are mighty near hopelessly lazy.”—Bob Hope
 
“Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?”—Mel Ferrer 

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Vintage Pulp Oct 20 2012
BUST OF PLENTY
Chestnuts roasting by an open fire.


After a few weeks of uncharacteristically normal models, the guys from Goodtime Weekly get back to business as usual with a photo from Ron Vogel and model who is—there’s no other phrase—enormously endowed. Autumn is here, after all, so perhaps she symbolizes the stockpiling of food for winter, the horn of plenty filled with inexhaustible gifts, the warmth sought on cold nights. Or maybe they just liked big boobs. Anyway, we said last week we’d try a few of the Goodtime quips in the real world, and, “Ahhh!” Ahhh haaah!” was usually the reaction. Or, “That’s, um—where did you hear that?” But a few went over well. So experiment inconclusive. We’ll continue testing during the next couple of weeks, because the American expat clique has a few Halloween related social gatherings coming up. When we’re done with this experiment we will know definitively whether Goodtime Weekly humor is timeless, or should simply be forgotten.
 
Oct 20: “Mother-in-law: A woman who arranged a match for her daughter and then intends to referee as well.”—Pat Buttram
 
Oct 21: “Bar bells are sometimes easier to pick up than bar bills.”—Sam Cowling
 
Oct 22: “The wife of an archaeologist says, ‘The older I get the better I look to my husband.’”—Phyllis Diller
 
Oct 23: “A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.”—Ambrose Bierce
 
Oct 24: Cars are not the only things that can hit and run a man down; gossipers have done worse.
 
Oct 25: “A perfect husband is one who can understand every word his wife isn’t saying.”—Sig Sakowicz
 
Oct 26: “Some wives cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go,”—Freddie Flintstone

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Vintage Pulp Jul 21 2012
CHECKERED PAST
You better check yourself.


Above, the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 for the week beginning July 21 with an image by Fernand Fonssagrives, a French photographer who published in Harper’s Bazaar and other magazines, and later made images of nudes with light patterns on their skin a trademark style. He was also married to Lisa Fonssagrives, who many think of as the first supermodel. See a few more Fonssagrives images here.
 
July 21: A smart wife has the steak on when her husband returns from his fishing trip.
 
July 22: I asked a beautiful girl, “Are you a model?” She said, “No, I’m full scale.”—Harrison Baker
 
July 23: “Women used to get undressed for the beach; now they do it to go to the supermarket.”—He-who Who-he
 
July 24: Figures come all sorts and shapes, but some come too big for short shorts.
 
July 25: “Do you know what keep me humble? Mirrors!”—Phyllis Diller
 
July 26: “Plenty of girls at a resort hotel are looking for husbands… and plenty of husbands are looking for girls.”—Sig Sakowicz
 
July 27: “A lot of women in the summer nowadays are just a bunch of stuffed shorts.”—Rod Brasfield

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
November 19
1916—Goldwyn Pictures Formed
In the U.S.A., Samuel Goldfish and Edgar Selwyn establish Goldwyn Pictures, which becomes one of the most successful independent film studios in Hollywood. Goldfish also takes the opportunity to legally change his last name to Goldwyn.
November 18
1916—First Battle of the Somme Ends
In France, British Expeditionary Force commander Douglas Haig calls off a battle against entrenched German troops which had begun on July 1, 1916. Known as the Battle of the Somme, this action resulted in one of the greatest losses of life in modern history—over three-hundred thousand dead for a net gain of about seven miles of land.
1978—Jonestown Cult Commits Mass Suicide
In the South American country of Guyana, Jim Jones leads his Peoples Temple cult in a mass suicide that claims 918 lives, including over 270 children. Congressman Leo J. Ryan, who had been visiting the makeshift cult complex known as Jonestown to investigate claims of abuse, is shot by members of the Peoples Temple as he tries to escape from a nearby airfield with several cult members who asked for his protection.
November 17
1973—Nixon Proclaims His Innocence
While in Orlando, Florida, U.S. President Richard Nixon tells four-hundred Associated Press managing editors, "I am not a crook." The false statement comes to symbolize Nixon's presidency when facts are uncovered that prove he is, indeed, a crook.
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