Ringing in the New Year in style.
Survived another year. And so have you. So let’s open 2013 by catching up with the Goodtime Weekly Calendar. We missed two weeks while we were in Morocco, and those pages are below. Above you see the January 1 page of this great publication, which also happens to be the cover, and it features model/actress/centerfold June Wilkinson shot by film director Russ Meyer. The photo is a variation of another Wilkinson image that appears inside the calendar later in the year. The images below are credited to Ron Vogel and L.W., whoever he is. Obviously, there's a three week backlog of jokes, but by now we’ve established that most of them are not in any way amusing, so rather than transcribe the entire collection, we’ve selected what we hope are the most interesting. Enjoy.
“A pedestrian: The man who didn’t believe his wife when she said the family needed two cars.”—Cannonball Adderley
“Many a man who would never think of gambling goes out and gets married.”—Sig Sakowicz
At Christmas time, every girl likes her past forgotten and her presents remembered.
Women are like modern paintings: you’ll never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”—William Shakespeare
“People Who throw kisses are mighty near hopelessly lazy.”—Bob Hope
“Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?”—Mel Ferrer
Whatever it is that girl put a spell on me.
The editors of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 have yanked themselves back from the brink. Last week their misogyny had reached an extent that made their ruminations unpublishable, but this week, suddenly, they’re back to normal—i.e. teasing but not mean-spirited. Where did the malice come from? We have no idea. Maybe some men are so used to retaining control over every aspect of their lives that the freaky power women have to make them lose their equilibrium spawns a simmering hostility. But sexual power is really the point of life, isn’t it? We act like we’re firmly anchored, but in reality we’re emotionally designed to slip our moorings the moment the right person happens along. That’s the fun of living. Lust, fear, risk, reward, failure, sex, heartbreak, love—all pieces of the same lovely puzzle. You gotta embrace it. Insults say nothing about the group we insult, and everything about us.
Well, at least Fernand Fonssagrives understood all this. He’s the creator of the image above, as well as one we uploaded in July. Way back in the 1930s his wife Lisa gave him a camera and he began shooting photos with her as his model. He eventually became the highest paid fashion photographer in New York City, while his wife became the world’s first supermodel. The model here is not Lisa Fonssagrives—she would have been in her fifties by then. There’s no model info in the Goodtime Calendar, so we’ll probably never know who posed for this shot. But she’s certainly a beauty. The session really sucked for the bear, though. The week’s observations are below.
Nov 10: “A penny for your thoughts is still about the right price.”—Bob Hope
Nov 11: “A dark corner is where some men get bright ideas.”—Freddie Flintstone
Nov 12: Gossip: What no one claims to like but everyone enjoys.
Nov 13: Women’s intuition is the ability to read between men’s lyings.
Nov 14: “Woman’s dearest delight is to wound man’s self-conceit, though man’s dearest delight is to gratify hers.”—George Bernard Shaw
Nov 15: “Love is blind, and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit.”—William Shakespeare
Nov 16: “A friend of mine always buys from relatives: He says, ‘It’s cheaper by the cousins.’”—Paul Fogarty