Sir Squeezalot starts slow but once he gets warmed up he's a hell of a lot of fun.
1967's Diary of a Dyke was published by Greenleaf Classics for its imprint Pleasure Readers, and the, er, interesting cover was painted by Tomas Cannizarro. The book was written by Robert Silverberg under his Don Elliott alter ego. The distinguished Silverberg is of course famous as the mind behind award winning novels like A Time of Changes and Lord Valentine's Castle, but early in his career he paid the bills by surreptitiously cranking out sleaze classics like LSD Lusters and Sin on Wheels. When these serious writers are outed for their early smut we always picture them reacting like vampires suddenly exposed to the light, shrinking into a far corner and hissing eternal curses. But Silverberg seems pretty chill about having worked in soft porn. He even wrote the foreword to one of the reprints. We'll undoubtedly run across more from him and his worse half later, but until then feel free to click his/their keywords below and explore our previous postings.
You're amazing. This whole reputation you have for evil is totally undeserved. Wait, what are you doing? Hey, I can't bre— *glug*
Another cheapie cover from Greenleaf Classics, Lust Demon by Don Elliott, with a tableau featuring a nipple-less devil woman and her unsuspecting companion. This isn't just any sleaze—it's sleaze by Robert Silverberg hiding behind the Elliott pseudonym. We've read of few of his smut efforts now, and he's better than the average literary perv. That doesn't sound like a compliment, but it really is. 1966 on this with art by uncredited.
I had new shocks installed, so theoretically nobody outside should be able to tell we're in there humping like beasts.
In Sin on Wheels a virgin moves into a trailer park with her new husband and discovers he and most of the other residents are swingers. He's cheating on her within a week, she's cheating back days later, and pretty soon everyone wants a piece of her wedding cake. Of course, it was always the husband's plan to share his bride, which means the friction, so to speak, derives from her attempts to resist being turned into a trailer park plaything. It's all written from her point of view, so it's basically a male fantasy of a woman's descent into the sexual gutter. This is credited to Loren Beauchamp but it was written by Robert Silverberg. If you're thinking this is somehow a diamond in the rough we'll tell you bluntly it's not distinguishable from most other light sleaze. It's fun and quick, though, with lots of heavy drinking, strip poker, and round robin intercourse. It's 1962 copyright, with Paul Rader cover art of one of his best temptresses, an aspect that contributes to the book's collectibility.
Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul, with a corncob pipe and a button nose and a nympho on his pole…
Those are the lyrics, right? We can’t remember. You know, maybe humping a snowman is more fun than it looks, but even so, it seems like a good way to find yourself explaining to a doctor—or a gynecologist—how you got the weirdest case of frostbite ever. Don Elliott was a pseudonym used by science fiction author Robert Silverberg, and we can only guess he’s cringed over this one at least once a day ever since he wrote it in 1967. The art is by Tomas Cannizarro.
Where the wild things are.
Above is the cover of New Texture’s 2012 book Weasels Ripped My Flesh!, which co-editor Robert Deis sent to us back in December. It took a while, but we finally finished reading it, and as expected, it’s a supremely satisfying compendium. All the tales were drawn from men’s adventure magazines of the 1950s, ’60s, and ’70s, and authors include Robert Silverberg, Lawrence Block, Jayne Dolinger, Walter Kaylin, and Mike Kamens, who wrote the improbable but now classic crazed weasels story after which this collection is named.
We were particularly gratified by Harlan Ellison’s presence in the form of his 1956 yarn “Death Climb,” in which an alpine guide is caught mid-ascent in a deadly dilemma—both halves of the wealthy but unhappily married couple he’s guiding up Mt. Keppler have secretly offered him money to push the other off the top. That story exemplifies what can be so fun about this type of fiction—the way it often begins with no set-up or preamble, in this case launching at high speed with the line, “It was either climb Mt. Keppler—or die.” Likewise the story ends sans denouement—the climax is quick and brutal.
Ellison has always been renowned for banging out stories quickly. This one feels quicker than usual—the femme fatale’s hair color even changes from blonde to auburn. But the fun factor more than compensates for that little slip. In addition to fiction you get (ostensibly) true stories such as “I Went to a Lesbian Party” by Joanne Beardon, “Eat Her… Bones and All,” as told to Bruce Jay Friedman, an interview with Godfather author Mario Puzo, and many other treats.
Along with He-Men, Bag Men & Nymphos, which is also from New Texture, Weasels Ripped My Flesh! gives us two of the best men’s magazine fiction anthologies on the market. New Texture also has other enticing items in its catalog, such as Chris D.’s Gun and Sword, an encyclopedia of Japanese gangster and pinku films. You can find out more at the New Texture blog or at the website Menspulpmags.com.
Well, yes, it’s unorthodox, but I’ve found this to be just as accurate as using a stethoscope.
Actually, if the doctor tried to speak at this point it would sound like, “Mmmph mmmph mmmph,” and nurses don’t wear blouses, but hey, coming up with more than two-thousand headers isn’t easy. Anyway, Loren Beauchamp was a pen name of award-winning sci-fi author Robert Silverberg, and his Nurse Carolyn, one of many sleaze novels he wrote to pay the bills, first appeared in 1960. The above cover is from the 1963 second edition and was painted by Paul Rader.
Update: We got an email about this cover from Ruben: "Just wanted to let you know that today's book cover, Nurse Carolyn, was likely painted by Stan Borack, though I'm not 100% certain. However, I AM absolutely certain that it is NOT a Paul Rader cover."
Thanks for writing in, Ruben. Our info comes from the comprehensive website Vintage Sleaze Paperbacks, which writes: "Rader also did the cover for the second edition, which is less striking but still Rader." So at this point we'll throw it to the masses. Anyone have definitive info about this one?
Considering I’m utterly tripping balls this actually came out okay.
Above is the cover of the sleaze novel LSD Lusters, published by Greenleaf Classics for their Nightstand Books line in 1967. Author John Dexter was a pseudonym inhabited by a number of writers, including Robert Silverberg. Because of that, we don’t know who actually wrote the book. But they must have been high when they agreed to do it. Art is by Darrel Millsap.
I wonder if she ever understood what I meant all those times I told her I was really into the dead?
The men of pulp and sleaze fiction typically have a personal creed, a set of unbreakable rules that the best authors constantly mock by presenting the heroes with incredibly bizarre grey areas. We have a suspicion what the guy on the cover of John Dexter’s (Robert Silverberg’s) Sinners Three wants. But how is he going to talk himself into it? We suggest he think back to his college frat and remind himself this wouldn’t be the first time he took advantage of a girl after she had too many shots.
Les tarts, les hussies, les tramps. See? I told you a bit of French makes anything sound classier.
Loren Beauchamp is known to have been a pseudonym of sci-fi titan Robert Silverberg, but according to the blog vintagesleazepaperbacks Sliverberg himself disavows any association with Les Floozies. Considering how many smut novels he wrote there's no reason for him deny any particular one, so you'd tend to believe him. But we also learned that the book, published in 1965, is a reprint of a 1962 effort called Hotrod Sinners, which Silverberg definitely wrote. So it looks like what happened here is the book got chopped up by editors and Silverberg decided it wasn't his anymore. That isn't an unusual reaction from a writer whose work has been altered. Even so, Les Floozies is pricy for something cobbled together by, well, who knows, really? It's basically about a couple of call girls and their love triangle with a young, hot-rodding pimp, with the plot moving the principles from dusty nowheresville to New York City, where they rise in the big time sex industry ranks. All very interesting, but it's actually the unusually attractive cover that interested us. It's not credited, though, and that's just the way it goes with sleaze publishers. Quelle bummer.
Uh, permission to come aboard?
Since we mentioned the great Robert Silverberg’s foray into smut, we thought we’d post another one of his dirty books. Here he writes under the name Don Elliott and, believe it or not, we saw this paperback online for $42. Yeah, for real. Since the original only cost ninety-five cents, that represents an appreciation of like… well, we have no idea. What we do appreciate is the masterpiece cover art by Robert Bonfils featuring four girls who like to draw outside the lines.
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1916—Rockefeller Breaks the Billion Barrier
American industrialist John D. Rockefeller becomes America's first billionaire. His Standard Oil Company had gained near total control of the U.S. petroleum market until being broken up by anti-trust legislators in 1911. Afterward, Rockefeller used his fortune mainly for philanthropy, and had a major effect on medicine, education, and scientific research.
1941—Williams Bats .406
Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox finishes the Major League Baseball season with a batting average of .406. He is the last player to bat .400 or better in a season.
1964—Warren Commission Issues Report
The Warren Commission, which had been convened to examine the circumstances of John F. Kennedy's assassination, releases its final report, which concludes that Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, killed Kennedy. Today, up to 81% of Americans are troubled
by the official account of the assassination.
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