|Intl. Notebook||Jun 16 2018|
But there are still some treats even in a late stage Reader. “Older Women Are Flocking To Massage Parlors Run By Young Virile Studs” is pure gold, just for that descriptive header alone. But sometimes a header is so bizarre there's no way to tell what the story is about. “New Vasectomy Ties Tell Women Who To Date.” Huh? What the hell kind of ties do they mean? Like the ones they use to tie your tubes? Turns out they mean it literally. A vasectomy clinic in London allegedly gave patients neckties with Vs running down the front, indicating the wearer had been snipped. And supposedly women flocked to these guys. We've been unable to corroborate the story, but it feels different from the second rate bull tabloid editors usually concoct—heh, we said coct—so we suspect it's truthful. And fittingly, there's cock in this issue, and not on slobs either—on nice looking guys, though none are swinging low, if you know what we mean. But still, something for our female readers. And male readers too. You're welcome. Cock and bull below.
|Intl. Notebook||Jan 23 2018|
It was a trick question. Both predictions were equally wrong. The ghost of Stalin has not appeared in Red Square, and the state of Georgia, which has a 30% black population, has never had a black governor. Actually, there are no black governors of any U.S. state at the moment, and there have been only four in U.S. history. Bunch of scans below.
|Intl. Notebook||Dec 5 2017|
|Sex Files||Jun 4 2017|
|Vintage Pulp||Feb 25 2017|
Above and below we have some scans from an issue of National Informer Reader published today in 1974. During its early days the magazine was called National Informer Weekly Reader, but we guess weakly sales put a stop to its more frequent publication schedule. The content hasn't changed in this later Reader, though. It has the usual stories of vice, including one of a sex orgy in a restaurant, complete with a photo of one of the participants, Christina Lindberg. You may remember we last saw her here.
Her presence in Reader is a classic example of the phenomenon of handout photos—i.e. publicity shots from promotional agencies sent to publications for usage in celeb write-ups. Generally, the agencies didn't carefully check the types of publications requesting shots, which meant tabloids were able to get them pretty easily. Sometimes the parent publications would request the photos and they'd trickle down to the companies' tabloid operations. In any case, Christina Lindberg obviously did not participate in a restaurant orgy. Though it certainly is appetizing to contemplate.
|Vintage Pulp||Feb 20 2017|
We mentioned last month that we bought a group of water damaged issues of National Informer. They had lain in a garage somewhere and humidity had caused the color inks to run, in some cases to the point of disappearing. The Informer you see above, published today in 1972, is the most damaged of the lot, though when you look at the striking result it seems inaccurate to use the word damaged. Let's call it altered, because we actually like look. But have a glance at an unaltered issue from the same year here. You see that plenty is missing. Today's issue is fully readable, though, and the semi-pornographic photos are unharmed too, all the way to the deepest interior pages. You can see for yourself below, where we have eighteen panels for your enjoyment. We have ten more issues from this batch we'll be uploading in the coming year.
|Vintage Pulp||Jan 16 2017|
Above, the cover and assorted scans from an issue of National Informer published today in 1972. This particular example is from a batch of ten we picked up cheap but which were water damaged. You can see that some of the ink has been washed away, but most of the images and text survived. Luckily, some of that text comprises one of the funnier typos you'll see: Woman Throws Baby To Loins! Elsewhere in the issue, resident seer Mark Travis gets one almost right in his “I Predict” feature: “I predict the abolition of so many jobs by automation will result in nine of ten citizens living on welfare within ten years.” Nine of ten? Not yet, but it looks like we're headed that way. But of course, under current policies there will be no welfare. Quite the opposite, in fact. While several other countries are seriously looking at universal basic income for their citizens, the U.S. is throwing more people to the, um, loins all the time. We have plenty more National Informer in the website and plenty more to come. Just click the keywords below.
|Sex Files||Dec 8 2016|
Above, some scans from the sex obsessed U.S. tabloid National Informer, published today in 1968, with stories on penis size, nude models, spouse swapping, teen sex, and more. In fact, the editors seemed to believe the world was entering an era of sexual utopia. Which just goes to show people never appreciate the age in which they're living, because 1968 looks a lot more like sexual utopia to modern Americans than anything going on today. There are three highlights in this issue—Swedish actress Janet Agren, who we've memorably featured before, on the cover, an Aslan pin-up on page three, and visions of the future from Informer's resident soothsayer The (not so) Great Criswell. His craziest prediction is as follows: “I predict that African brides can be bought in the open market thru mail-order. These 12-year-old brides have been trained how to be a good, dutiful wife, a good mother, and a good black magician, fortune teller, and witch doctor. Over 18,000 are now in England alone!” There's really not much we can add to that. Except to say that if these 12-year-old fortune tellers actually existed we wish one of them would have taken Criswell's job. You can see plenty more from Infomer by clicking its keywords below.
|Vintage Pulp||May 12 2016|
Sticking with the recent tabloid theme, above is a National Informer Weekly Reader that hit newsstands today in 1974. Inside is a rather funny story about a Honolulu restaurant called Dunes, which was allegedly staffed by nude waiters. Do we buy this tale? We didn’t at first, but we checked online and sure enough—there was such a place and owner Jack Cione did indeed feature nude waiters during lunch service. We’re for nudity of any sort, male included, but we don’t want any stray dick tips in our shrimp salad, so maybe we’d pass on the actual lunch aspect.
Also in the issue editors ask, “What Ever Happened To June?” That would be British pin-up June Wilkinson, who not been seen on the showbiz circuit since starring with her husband—NFL star Dan Pastorini—in the film Weed: The Florida Connection. After Weed Wilkinson didn’t appear onscreen for eleven years. Occasionally, that’s a sign you’ve made a disastrous movie, and Weed is indeed terrifically bad. We’ll talk about it a bit later. We have eleven more scans from National Informer Weekly Reader below, including a nice shot of Italian sex symbol Nadia Cassini.
|Sex Files||Nov 19 2015|
National Informer shares the knowledge in a Sex Education Special published this month in 1971, offering readers a tabloid manual of best practices for intersex relations. What do you want to know? How to satisfy a super-sexed female? Answer: ejaculate quickly so you can take your time pleasing her afterward. How do you prepare for a weekend orgy? Answer: start with a heart check-up. What’s the best way to warm up a frigid wife? Answer: erotic reading material, perhaps even—surprise—National Informer. The magazine’s sex seminar is not only for men—J.B. McNaughton explains to women how to use their breasts to turn men on. Answer: have them (actually, that’s our answer, not theirs). One person who probably needed serious advice was Prince Julius Eduard of Anhalt, Germany, who editors claim got into hot water when a nude photo of his girlfriend Christine Gunther appeared in a men’s magazine. We tried like hell to confirm this tale but to no avail. If it isn’t on the internet it definitely didn’t happen, so we’ll chalk this story up to too much brown acid in the editorial offices. We’ll have much more Informer soon.