![CLOSER EXAMINATION](/images/headline/4891.png) Which one liked to wallow in crap more? National Examiner or Adolf Hitler? ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_01.jpg)
National Examiner offers up a provocative cover on this issue that hit newsstands today in 1973, with an unidentified blonde model and the promise of expert lovemaking tips. Nothing new there. What's different is this issue takes Adolf Hitler's corpse for a gallop around a well-traveled track. The article “Hitler's Strange Desires” digs into der Führer's toilet training, his family background, his private writings and public statements, and comes to the conclusion: sexual pervert! The piece discusses Hitler's “sexual inadequacy and impotence, frail body and softness that was almost effeminate,” and reveals how he doted on his mother but eventually felt betrayed by her, stating, “This sudden indignation with his mother could have been caused if he saw his parents having intercourse.” The ultimate conclusion is no surprise: “[Because of] his extreme form of masochism [he derived] sexual gratification from the act of having a woman urinate or defecate on him.” As psychological disturbances go, you can take your pick here. Like beer in a Berlin rathskeller, Hitler allegedly had multiple flavors on tap, and they culminated in turning him into a shit freak. That's amusing to consider, but was it anything other than pure bullshit itself? Labeling Hitler a disturbed child-turned sexual deviant was a mini-industry in the decades after his death, and the rumors started by these reports are still prevalent today. We get it—by making him into a non-human it's easy![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_02.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_03.jpg) to distance him from the rest of us, but as far as we know there's no evidence he was anything other than a heterosexual who had run-of-the-mill sex, or for that matter that he was anything other than a run-of-the-mill human. Many people would love for the stories to be true, but they're just too easy. We don't blame Examiner for beating that Hitler horse, though. Everybody did it—it sold piles of papers.
Examiner goes for lighter material elsewhere in the issue, with an update on the whereabouts of Canadian actress Ruby Keeler, a story about a wife who makes her husband take her to a swingers club so she can get some strange dick, and a pervy advertisement for instant peepholes we know would be illegal to use today, and which we suspect were illegal to use back then too. Other celebrities who make appearances include Maria LaTour and Monika Zinnenberg. In fact, on closer examination that unidentified cover model might be Zinnenberg. She made the usual slate of bad West German comedies and exploitation flicks during the ’60s and ’70s before leveraging her front-of-the-camera work into a directing career which she sustained all the way up until 2012. And finally there's a centerspread on the benefits of yoga, featuring stars like Cary Grant, Geraldine Chaplain, and Barbara Parkins touting its benefits. That's about it for this Examiner. Scans below, and more here and here. ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_05.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_06.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_07.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_08.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_09.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_16.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_17.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_18.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_19.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_20.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_21.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_22.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_23.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_24.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_25.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_26.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_27.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_28.jpg) ![](/images/postimg/closer_examination_29.jpg)
![MAGICAL MYSTERY LATOUR](/images/headline/2826.png) Actually, I like wearing it—except I have to run for shelter whenever lightning is in the area. ![](/images/postimg/magical_mystery_latour.jpg)
French actress Maria Latour had a relatively minor career, appearing in four films in 1967 and several television shows between 1965 and 1973, but there’s nothing minor about this shot of her rocking a metal bra. It’s doubtless uncomfortable, but it’s also great in a low rent sci-fi way. The shot is from 1968.
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
2003—Hope Dies
Film legend Bob Hope dies of pneumonia two months after celebrating his 100th birthday. 1945—Churchill Given the Sack
In spite of admiring Winston Churchill as a great wartime leader, Britons elect
Clement Attlee the nation's new prime minister in a sweeping victory for the Labour Party over the Conservatives. 1952—Evita Peron Dies
Eva Duarte de Peron, aka Evita, wife of the president of the Argentine Republic, dies from cancer at age 33. Evita had brought the working classes into a position of political power never witnessed before, but was hated by the nation's powerful military class. She is lain to rest in Milan, Italy in a secret grave under a nun's name, but is eventually returned to Argentina for reburial beside her husband in 1974. 1943—Mussolini Calls It Quits
Italian dictator Benito Mussolini steps down as head of the armed forces and the government. It soon becomes clear that Il Duce did not relinquish power voluntarily, but was forced to resign after former Fascist colleagues turned against him. He is later installed by Germany as leader of the Italian Social Republic in the north of the country, but is killed by partisans in 1945.
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