All Good Times must come to an end.
Well, this is it. This is the last image from the Goodtime Weekly calendar of 1963. We’ve shared fifty-two great photos from some of the most famous glamour photographers of yesteryear. Among the subjects were Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield, June Wilkinson, Iris Bristol and many unknowns. Our only regret: we never found out who Freddie Flintstone and He-who Who-he are. This week we have another anonymous photographer and unknown model. Seems fitting.
Mar 3: “The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history.”—George Eliot
Mar 4: “A girl may read you like a book—still she wonders about earlier editions.”—Luke Newly
Mar 5: “Most women want to know the truth no matter how flattering it is.”—Alex Dreier
Mar 6: “When some girls use eyebrow pencils they don’t know where to draw the line.”—Freddie Flintstone
Mar 7: “Some women can’t even wear a smile without looking in the mirror to see how it fits.”—Freddie Flintstone
Mar 8: No woman marries a man for God’s sake.
Mar 9: “As a rule, he who tells no lie to a woman has no consideration for her feelings.”—He-who Who-he
Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum?
We’re at the penultimate page of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, and as promised last week here’s a great shot from Ron Vogel of an unidentified model getting her groove on. This just cries out to be repurposed as a 12-inch cover or some kind of concert poster, don’t you think? The image actually brings up lots of humorous possibilities, and we were contemplating something along these lines for a subhead: She’s not the only one who loves beating something between her legs. But then we decided that was just too much. We have some class here.
Among the quips this week is one from a person named Barbette. We had no idea who that was, so off to the interwebs we went for an answer. Turns out Barbette was a famous trapeze performer and female impersonator. He was born Vander Clyde Broadway, and in his aerial act performed in full drag only to reveal himself as a man at the end. As his fame grew he worked all over the U.S. and Europe, selling out storied venues like the Casino de Paris, Moulin Rouge, and the Folies Bergère.
His renown extended beyond the realm of performance. He was photographed by Man Ray, cast in Jean Cocteau’s experimental film Le sang d'un poete, was the subject of Cocteau’s essay Le numéro Barbette, and choreographed aerial scenes for Hollywood movies. It’s also possible he was the inspiration for Reinhold Schünzel’s musical comedy film Viktor und Viktoria, which was remade as Victor Victoria by Blake Edwards. Quite a legacy. We aren’t sure if his quip is particularly insightful, but even Barbette had his off days.
Feb 24: “A college girl who eloped put the heart before the course.”—G.S. Kaufman
Feb 25: “Women think about love more than men; that’s because men think more about women.”—Barbette
Feb 26: A woman’s strength is her weakness. She fights by yielding and conquers by falling.
Feb 27: :One group of people who live on love are the owners of drive-in theaters.”—Jack Herbert
Feb 28: “For every man there’s a woman; but the chances are one may get the wrong number.”—He-who Who-he
Mar 1: “Alimony: The high cost of guessing wrong.”—Quin Ryan
Mar 2: Every girl should have a husband, not necessarily her own—Hollywood Code
, Casino de Paris
, Moulin Rouge
, Le sang d'un poete
, Le numéro Barbette
, Viktor und Viktoria
, Victor Victoria
, Goodtime Weekly Calendar
, Ron Vogel
, G.S. Kaufman
, Jack Herbet
, Quin Ryan
, Man Ray
, Jean Cocteau
, Reinhold Schünzel
, Blake Edwards
, Vander Clyde Broadway
Some see the glass as half full. Some see it as half empty. But if you’re really smart you’re not looking at the glass at all.
Ron Vogel, who has provided quite a few nice images for the Goodtime Weekly Calendar, makes yet another appearance this week with a nice shot of a woman offering a nightcap. We can’t identify the model, which isn’t unusual, but did we ever mention that Vogel himself is a bit of a mystery? The guy contributed an amazing amount to the field of photography, pin-ups, and erotica, but he doesn’t have a website or even a Wikipedia page. Seems a shame. Anyway, we get one more Vogel next week, and it’s a really nice one, so look forward to that. Quips below.
Feb 17: “A career girl is one who gets a man’s salary without marrying one.”—Peggie Castle
Feb 18: Mature women love the simpler things in life—men.
Feb 19: “She who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right but is more often left.”—He-who Who-he
Feb 20: “It takes two to make a marriage—a girl and her mother.”—Paul Gibson
Feb 21: “One thing that ruins a girl’s chance for a fur coat is to get married.”—Alex Dreier
Feb 22: A beatnik says, “A cannibal eats three squares a day.”
Feb 23: “Money doesn’t talk anymore. It goes without saying.”—Kai Winding
Now I’m squeaky clean. Well, except for my hair. But I never wash that because this style cost me a fortune.
Anonymous photographer L.W., who produced nice images for September and December, returns this week with another nice glamour shot of an unknown model. Sadly, we still have no idea who L.W. is, and we probably never will, because this is the last of his contributions to Goodtime Weekly, and in fact the entire calendar ends next week. That’s right, we’ve gone through fifty-one images and have one more to go.
Feb 10: “Marriage is like a warm bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.”—Joey Adams
Feb 11: Both a blond secretary and an IBM typewriter have something electric.
Feb 12: “Would anyone explain this: Why a woman will scream at a mouse but smile at a wolf?”—He-who Who-he
Feb 13: If you think the Twist is hot, you should see the kids doing it on ice. It’s burning the ice.
Feb 14: “The hardest thing about skating on ice is when you get right down to it.”—Sam Cowling
Feb 15: “I believe in big families. Every woman should have three husbands.”—Zsa Zsa Gabor
Feb 16: “Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.”—Paul Gibson
Update: Actually, because we scan these pages a few weeks in advance, we forgot that we had some in our hard drive. Next week is not the last week of Goodtime. There are three weeks to go.
Sittin’ in the morning sun, she’ll be sittin’ when the evening comes.
For the first time the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 presents us with an image that isn’t pure cheesecake. This shot of an unknown model by a photographer credited only as Mills would be right at home in a fashion magazine. Perhaps it’s fitting that she’s making a fashion statement by wearing Nehru jacket, am Indian formal garment that became popular in the West after being adopted by famous performers like Sammy Davis, Jr., the Beatles, and the Monkees. The jacket also made an appearance in the first James Bond film Dr. No, worn by the villain Julius No, and also by Sean Connery himself at one point. All that said, it also could be a chef’s jacket. We have no idea, truthfully. We just know the model looks smoking hot in it. The quips this week include two each from Freddie Flintstone and that mysterious He-who Who-he character, who we think was probably the publisher’s nephew. We have no other way to explain why his musings were ever considered worth printing. Yet we compounded the sin by transcribing his and others below. Enjoy.
Feb 3: “Worldwide fame awaits the designer of a girdle that is larger on the inside than on the outside.”—Paul Gibson
Feb 4: “The Oriental invented face-saving but it’s American beauticians who make a living out of it.”—He-who Who-he
Feb 5: “When a woman tells you she is approaching 30 she forgets to tell you from which direction,”—Freddie Flintstone
Feb 6: “Hi-fi was invented by a man listening to his wife on one side and his mother-in-law on the other.”—Tom Poston
Feb 7: They called TV a medium because much of it is not rare and certainly not well done.
Feb 8: “Rail trouble: With double beds in motels, who wants to squeeze into a sleeping car?”—He-who Who-he
Feb 9: “A man can live in a penthouse and still have a wife who makes him feel low.”—Freddie Flintstone
We don’t know art, but we know what we like.
A few of the contributors to the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 have been anonymous. This week we have another mystery photog (or perhaps the same single person who shot all the anonymous photos), and an image of an unknown model paired with a winged statuette. The anonymity of the photo dovetails with the provenance of the sculpture, which is a miniature of the Greek statue Winged Victory of Samothrace, a representation of the goddess Nike carved by an unknown artisan sometime in the second century B.C. But deities inevitably lose their power, and at some point someone looked at the goddess of victory, sneered, “Loser,” and pushed her over, rendering her armless and headless. But you’re just looking at the boobs behind the statue, aren’t you? Fair enough. So are we. Like the Greeks, we’re sensual that way.
Jan 27: “No photographer of pretty women ever completely covers the subject.”—Joe Hamilton
Jan 28: Venus of Milo: gal who used a harsh detergent!—“Stump the Stars.”
Jan 29: “Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean ‘your guess is as good as mine.’”—Bob Hope
Jan 30: “Beatniks Anonymous: When a ‘beat’ takes a bath, he calls up and members rush over to turn off the water.”—Irv Kupcinet
Jan 31: “I am a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce I keep the house.”—Zsa Zsa Gabor
Feb 1: “Imagine Sinatra owning a record company. In any other country he’d be the needle.”—Bob Hope
Feb 2: “It used to be tired and run down; now it’s tired and twisted.”—He-who Who-he
Here's the latest page from Goodtime Weekly with a shot from Don Ornitz of February 1958 Playboy centerfold Cheryl Kubert. Kubert is a bit of a mystery. Early Playboy centerfolds were pretty demure, and she showed less than normal. She had already appeared in magazines such as Pageant, Gala and Argosy, and after her Playboy appearance was featured in their 1959 calendar, but after that there’s only a bit appearance in the movie Pal Joey, and a bit part in 1980’s Smokey and the Judge. She died in 1989, supposedly from suicide. The calendar quips are below.
Jan 20: “Many a girl is only as strong as her weakest wink.”—Sam Cowling
Jan 21: “A girl is grown up when she stops counting on her fingers and starts counting on her legs.”—Irv Kupcinet
Jan 22: “A wizard is a man who can describe—without gesture—an accordion or a girl.”—Quin Ryan
Jan 23: “Fashion is what a her does to a hem to get a him.”—Joe Hamilton
Jan 24: “A clever girl is one who knows how to give a man her own way.”—Tom Poston
Jan 25: “The greatest mystery in the world is a woman who is a bachelor.”—Loretta Young
Jan 26: “A confirmed bachelor is a guy who’ll go to a drive-in on a motorcycle.”—Scott Brady
Goodtime Weekly Calendar
, Pal Joey
, Cheryl Kubert
, Don Ornitz
, Scott Brady
, Tom Poston
, Loretta Young
, Joe Hamilton
, Quin Ryan
, Irv Kupcinet
, Sam Cowling
Above, the latest page of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, with a Tom Kelley image of a model that is unknown to us. This is Kelley's fourth page in the calendar, and you can see his others by clicking his keyword below.
Jan 13: “A woman never forgets her sex. She would rather talk with a man than an angel any day.”—O.W. Holmes
Jan 14: “In Hawaii, girls wear grass skirts. I used to watch and wait for the grass to catch on fire.”—Red Skelton
Jan 15: “A mermaid is half girl and more fish than you need.”—Jack Paar
Jan 16: “A capella is when you come out of the shower to answer a televised telephone.”—Johnny Carson
Jan 17: “A blonde is superior to a cat; a cat can only dye nine times.”—Sam Cowling
Jan 18: “Years ago a nice girl wouldn’t think of holding her date’s hand; now she has to.”—He-who Who-he
Jan 19: “A girl wants to buy a referee’s whistle, because she has a date with a basketball player.”—Quin Ryan
Is it just us, or does something about this pose make you think about scoring?
We’re back on schedule with Goodtime Weekly and a page for today in 1963 featuring none other than Jayne Mansfield, who's making her third appearance for the calendar. After being lensed twice by Bernard Wagner, here and here, British photographer David Hurn gets a shot. We love the pose because it looks like she’s signaling a touchdown or a field goal—appropriate this first weekend of playoff football in the U.S. (which is something we can watch live thanks to the wonders of the internet). We doubt Hurn was thinking of sports when he suggested the pose. More likely he simply said, “Um, Jayne, I can’t see your breasts with the fabric bunched up like that. Can you raise your arms? Higher? Perfect.” The result was an image that’s quite famous, which is to say, it’s one of only three from the calendar that we’ve seen before. That doesn’t surprise us. Hurn is a significant photographer who shot everything from political events to the Beatles, and is still kicking around today. He also shot this amazing image of Jane Fonda for the film Barbarella. Okay, we're off. Enjoy the games, everyone.
Jan 6: A good sermon is one that goes over your head and hits the others.
Jan 7: Another blue Monday. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody could make both week-ends meet?
Jan 8: “A wolf is a guy who dreams of girls running thru his mind—they wouldn’t dare walk!”—Rod Brasfield
Jan 9: A diplomat looked at Jayne Mansfield and sighed: “I only wish the UN were in such good shape!”
Jan 10: “Jayne Mansfield always looks like she’s trying to smuggle something into the country.”—George Burns
Jan 11: “Every girl has a sense of value; buy her something expensive and see how much you’ll receive.”—He-who Who-he
Jan 12: “I don’t take gifts from perfect strangers—but nobody’s perfect.”—Zsa Zsa Gabor
Ringing in the New Year in style.
Survived another year. And so have you. So let’s open 2013 by catching up with the Goodtime Weekly Calendar. We missed two weeks while we were in Morocco, and those pages are below. Above you see the January 1 page of this great publication, which also happens to be the cover, and it features model/actress/centerfold June Wilkinson shot by film director Russ Meyer. The photo is a variation of another Wilkinson image that appears inside the calendar later in the year. The images below are credited to Ron Vogel and L.W., whoever he is. Obviously, there's a three week backlog of jokes, but by now we’ve established that most of them are not in any way amusing, so rather than transcribe the entire collection, we’ve selected what we hope are the most interesting. Enjoy.
“A pedestrian: The man who didn’t believe his wife when she said the family needed two cars.”—Cannonball Adderley
“Many a man who would never think of gambling goes out and gets married.”—Sig Sakowicz
At Christmas time, every girl likes her past forgotten and her presents remembered.
Women are like modern paintings: you’ll never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”—William Shakespeare
“People Who throw kisses are mighty near hopelessly lazy.”—Bob Hope
“Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?”—Mel Ferrer
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1934—Queen Mary Launched
The RMS Queen Mary, three-and-a-half years in the making, launches from Clydebank, Scotland. The steamship enters passenger service in May 1936 and sails the North Atlantic Ocean until 1967. Today she is a museum and tourist attraction anchored in Long Beach, U.S.A.
1983—Nuclear Holocaust Averted
Soviet military officer Stanislav Petrov, whose job involves detection of enemy missiles, is warned by Soviet computers that the United States has launched a nuclear missile at Russia. Petrov deviates from procedure, and, instead of informing superiors, decides the detection is a glitch. When the computer warns of four more inbound missiles he decides, under much greater pressure this time, that the detections are also false. Soviet doctrine at the time dictates an immediate and full retaliatory strike, so Petrov's decision to leave his superiors out of the loop very possibly prevents humanity's obliteration. Petrov's actions remain a secret until 1988, but ultimately he is honored at the United Nations.
2002—Mystery Space Object Crashes in Russia
In an occurrence known as the Vitim Event, an object crashes to the Earth in Siberia and explodes with a force estimated at 4 to 5 kilotons by Russian scientists. An expedition to the site finds the landscape leveled and the soil contaminated by high levels of radioactivity. It is thought that the object was a comet nucleus with a diameter of 50 to 100 meters.
1992—Sci Fi Channel Launches
In the U.S., the cable network USA debuts the Sci Fi Channel, specializing in science fiction, fantasy, horror, and paranormal programming. After a slow start, it built its audience and is now a top ten ranked network for male viewers aged 18–54, and women aged 25–54.
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