Vintage Pulp Apr 5 2018
A NEW TEIL TO TELL
Seventh movie in famed sexploitation series has plenty to report.


After taking a little break you can be sure we'd return to posting by showing you something unusual, so above you see a beautiful Japanese poster for the West German sexploitation comedy Schulmädchen-Report 7. Teil - Doch das Herz muß dabei sein. It's a mouthful, we know. The title would translate as “schoolgirl report part 7 - but the heart must be there.” This word salad was changed for the film's English language release to merely Teenage Playmates. It was the seventh of thirteen films in the Schulmädchen-Report series and is generally regarded as one of the better entries—though having not seen all of them we can't corroborate that. Among its large cast are Elke Deuringer, Ulrike Butz, and Puppa Armbruster. The movie is also said by various websites, including IMDB, to feature Christina Lindberg, but she's not in it. It would be better if she were, but no such luck, and we aren't even sure how that rumor sprouted, except that the cast is uncredited and people have bad eyes.

Plotwise, when a bunch of high school aged brothel workers are arrested they tell a judge and court filled with scandalized spectators how they ended up in such circumstances. Thus the entire film is just a framework for sex vignettes. Our favorite quote: “Naturally I touched my breasts in the shower. Which are erogenous zones according to The Atlas of Sexual Education. My nipples got hard and my... my... my... how should I describe it? My pussy became aroused.” Movies like this fall into the could-not-be-made-today category, which is a good thing—though we should note that all the alleged high schoolers were actors in their twenties, some considerably so. Which will be obvious when you look at the promo images below. After premiering in West Germany in 1974 Schulmädchen-Report 7. Teil - Doch das Herz muß dabei sein reached Japan today in 1975.

Fuck—I look at least twenty-five. I guess it's true what they say about this life aging you.

Oh, ah, the fact that some people mistake me for Christina Lindberg is a real turn on!

I'll leave the glasses on, if you don't mind. When this all comes out in court later I'll need to describe you accurately.

Mmm... fuzzy. I love you Mr. Zwetschgenkuchenbear.

The teen brothel is on the third floor. This floor sells designer handbags. Buy one for a woman and you'll get laid even faster than going to a hooker. You'll learn that later in life.

Who's in the mood for kochwurst? Kochwurst, everyone? Okay, kochwurst for all of us, please, waiter. Thanks.

The Atlas of Sexual Education says we're rounding second base. Next stop—deeply unfulfilling sex for pay.

Police! This is a raid! Girls—you're all under arrest! Men—all of you go home and revel in the fact that male privilege lets you off scot-free!

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
February 17
1933—Blaine Act Passes
The Blaine Act, a congressional bill sponsored by Wisconsin senator John J. Blaine, is passed by the U.S. Senate and officially repeals the 18th Amendment to the United States Constitution, aka the Volstead Act, aka Prohibition. The repeal is formally adopted as the 21st Amendment to the Constitution on December 5, 1933.
1947—Voice of America Begins Broadcasting into U.S.S.R.
The state radio channel known as Voice of America and controlled by the U.S. State Department, begins broadcasting into the Soviet Union in Russian with the intent of countering Soviet radio programming directed against American leaders and policies. The Soviet Union responds by initiating electronic jamming of VOA broadcasts.
February 16
1937—Carothers Patents Nylon
Wallace H. Carothers, an American chemist, inventor and the leader of organic chemistry at DuPont Corporation, receives a patent for a silk substitute fabric called nylon. Carothers was a depressive who for years carried a cyanide capsule on a watch chain in case he wanted to commit suicide, but his genius helped produce other polymers such as neoprene and polyester. He eventually did take cyanide—not in pill form, but dissolved in lemon juice—resulting in his death in late 1937.
February 15
1933—Franklin Roosevelt Survives Assassination Attempt
In Miami, Florida, Giuseppe Zangara attempts to shoot President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, but is restrained by a crowd and, in the course of firing five wild shots, hits five people, including Chicago, Illinois Mayor Anton J. Cermak, who dies of his wounds three weeks later. Zangara is quickly tried and sentenced to eighty years in jail for attempted murder, but is later convicted of murder when Cermak dies. Zangara is sentenced to death and executed in Florida's electric chair.
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